And We Will Run Together Again
by NonchalantxFish
Summary: ***NOTE: DISCONTINUED & UP FOR ADOPTION. AU New Moon. Bella-centric, first person; featuring a healing, to-be-independent-and-a-lot-stronger-than-canon Wolf!Bella.
1. Wolf

**A/N: Hullo! First attempt at a longer fanfiction (as in, more than 3 chapters . . . *sweats a little*) I was reading some Wolf!Bella fics and decided that I wanted to write my own. Not sure about pairings - will probably decide later - and pretty sure I screwed up some characters 'cuz I wrote this before I looked at the wiki pages. Aaaaaaanyways, long story short, AU and OOC and LANGUAGE and haven't read the Twilight books in forever. *cries***

 **Sorry . . . please enjoy. And review. I need to know what I'm doing wrong, after all. XD**

 **AAAAH! Wait! Update! Disclaimer: I own nothing, don't sue me, even my kidney(s) is worthless.**

* * *

Muscles rippling, cords of flesh bursting under ivory skin, which was disappearing underneath sprouts of dark fuzz. Soft and fine, then sleek and coarse, shades of dark browns and black, covering the squirming skin and cracking bone. My _face_ was breaking, nose pushing forward and teeth sharpening.

All of this occurred in a second, in mid-stride.

Mid-stride?

 _You're running._

In the woods, too. The woods that were filled with green, green, green, and not enough brown. The woods that _he_ had once carried me through. The woods that were filled with bears that hunters ran from. The woods Charlie banned me from.

Yep. _Those_ woods. _That_ meadow.

Laurent.

My eyes widened a fraction. _That slimy_ ** _leech_** _tried to_ ** _KILL_** _me!_

Leech? Like, the . . . oh. Blood-sucking leeches, blood-sucking vampires. Yeah, that makes sense. But I've never called Edward a _leech._ It seemed . . . I dunno, rude. Scratch that, it WAS rude. Why did I think that? And why was I running?

 _Laurent._ he whispered again. I hadn't noticed the first time - _he_ seemed as much a part of me as anything. Everything.

 _Run faster,_ he begged, _Don't let him catch you. Don't do anything stupid._

Like stop, I supposed he meant. I almost did. Funny, really. I didn't think there was anything _resembling_ self-preservation in me anymore. When he left, he took that too. All I had - _Have, remember? Still alive._ \- was his.

But I kept running anyways. It was the first time in a _long,_ ** _long_** time that I felt okay. Good, maybe. The pumping blood in my legs, the wind against my hair, the easy grace ( _Oh, that's new for_ sure.) with which I navigated the woods. Trees rushed by me in blurs, the damp soil soft underneath padded feet, the whipping wind cold and refreshing against a lolling tongue.

Sweet.

Sickly sweet, like acid, like **_bleach_** , biting at my senses. Something rumbled in my throat, some sort of thunder ripping from snarling lips. The freedom I felt, the _goodness_ of running, was smothered with a steady aggression. I was finally feeling a little better, and Laurent _had_ to ruin it. I wanted to turn around and punch that stupid Laurent in his _stupid_ ** _sparkly_** _face._ First James was after me, now his friend? The one who tried to get me to run from said psychotic vampire hunter in the first place? WHY?

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got.

 _Please be reasonable,_ the other vampire with me pleaded, _Just run away. You can outrun him._

Sure I can. A human outrunning a vampire, why not?

Human?

But instincts took over forethought, and my feet skid in the dirt, spraying clumps of rock and mud as I faced the vampire himself.

Beautiful, deadly, unabashed. Not a hair out of place, and he'd just chased me 4 miles uphill. I, on the other hand, was panting for breath, lungs heaving with the pleasant burn of exercise. Even with the adrenaline in my veins, I lowered my head and snarled at this sickly sweet _monster_ that managed to make "puzzled" a work of art.

"How interesting." he said pleasantly, "So we are not the only monsters in this world, hm?"

I smiled with all the false bravado I could. I didn't want to be afraid of him. He could 't be worse than James. And maybe . . . maybe if I died, I wouldn't have to hear _him_ anymore, knowing he didn't want me.

 _Bite me, Laurent._ I hissed. Best thing I could pull without cussing.

Whoops. Not the best thing to say. He really _was_ going to bite me, after all.

He seemed amused though, which only enraged me more. He raised a perfect brow and smiled a perfect smile. "How mysterious . . . I've heard legends, of course . . . but even as a beast, your blood . . . I suppose there's nothing for it, Miss Isabella Swan. I've always wanted to drink werewolf blood, you know."

 _Werewolf?_

My instincts registered the moment he moved, the intent to kill me that he moved with, but my mind went numb. Padded paws with black nails, digging into the dirt. A muscled body heaving with warm breath and covered in sleek, dark fur. Pointed ears, listening to the slightest flutter of insect wings, the snapping of raindrops against the crisp leaves, the shift in weight as Lawrence walked towards me. My senses were heightened and my mind was stopped.

Wolf.

 _Beast._

Laurent's hands ripped into my right side, my canine body's instincts kicking in only in time to keep his clawed fingers from my lungs. One exchange and I was already bleeding, steaming blood pouring from the gaping wound, matting the dark fur. It burned, and I screamed, and the wolf that was me howled.

 _WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT AM I? IT HURTS! HELP ME!_

 ** _Who is this? What's going-_**

Laurent looked surprised at the fact that he didn't kill me. I whined, backing away. All bravado, all confidence, false or not, was gone. It was burning, my side was twisting in on itself, and the blood wouldn't stop. He tried to grab at my neck but I dashed out of the way. Again he lunged, and I ran - his hands missed me by millimeters. It was a demented, bloody dance. The beast and the red-eyed monster.

 _I'm going to die and I'm a_ ** _monster._**

 **Who the** ** _bloody fuck_** **is this?**

 **Paul, what-**

Blood everywhere, and Laurent paused our dance to bend down and smear my blood onto his elegant fingers. He tasted it, tentatively, and grinned. My eyes didn't register the shiver that passed up his body, but I heard it.

"Wonderful." he said.

 _OH GOD, I'm going to die. He's going to drink me dry, someone, please . . ._

 **Someone get out there and SAVE THIS GUY DAMMIT-**

 **Where are you? We'll come and-**

 **-WHO are you-**

 **SHUDDUP PAUL.** ** _TELL US WHERE YOU ARE AND WE WILL HELP YOU._**

That voice. It was . . . warm. Familiar. Edward's voice was familiar, but it wasn't warm. It made me hurt. And these other voices, I didn't know them. Maybe they weren't as bad as Laurent's, but I didn't think twice before dismissing them as my own insanity. But that one, the one that promised help . . . I knew it.

 _Woods,_ my mind whispered, _Northeast of Forks, past the big meadow. Please,_ ** _please_** _be real. Oh my god, it hurts . . ._

There was a surge of anger as the voices realized I was bleeding badly. There was an influx of protectiveness and panic as they realized I was not strong enough to run away, just barely avoid Laurent's attacks. I felt another gash rip into my left shoulder before I could think about them anymore.

Laurent had greed in his eyes as he licked at his crimson hand.

Glad to know I tasted nice.

 ** _Hold on. We're almost there._**

 _I can't. It hurts . . . I'm so tired . . ._

 ** _Don't you fucking give up, pup. You damn well better start running south._**

 _I can't run . . . La Push is that way, they'll see me . . . they'll run . . . I-I'm not human. I'm not . . . I'm . . . monster . . ._

 ** _Nothing as bad as the thing you're fighting. Come on, newbie-_**

 ** _NO. Don't turn tail on him. Defend. Focus. We're here._**

Even before three gigantic wolves sprung from the trees, I knew they were here. I saw through their eyes: a man, pale and deadly, crouched in front of a small (smaller than _they_ were, at least) dark wolf - a whimpering young beast, bleeding heavily and whining softly. They rushed to its aid, growling menacingly with bloodlust in their howls, and leapt to their younger brother's (sister's, I supposed vaguely) side.

Two other wolves flanked the main three. The leader - **Alpha** , someone corrected - was the biggest, fur black and snarls ripping from his throat. He launched himself into attack, the other two - a dark grey one and a russet-brown one - split to surround Laurent. He slipped from their attack, as I expected.

What I didn't expect was the _fear._

 ** _The leech_** **should** ** _be afraid of us._** snorted one of the other two wolves pressing up against her bleeding, heaving sides in comfort, **_Bastard thought he could hurt our new . . . uh, sister, he has another thing coming._**

That wolf was bigger than the other, a mix of black and very dark brown. The other, a paler brown with black streaks and ears, nuzzled my whimpering . . . muzzle? Was that the word? Muzzle. He quieted me, warm breath snorted from his nose like mist in the frigid air.

 ** _Sam, Paul, and Jake'll give him hell for you - don't worry about that._** said the nuzzling wolf gently; and, as an afterthought, **_Jake especially. You_** **are** ** _Bella, right? Bella Swan?_**

 _What? Jake as in . . . as in_ Jake? _My Jacob?_

A surge of protectiveness. I saw out of some wolf's eyes as Laurent fled and the three gave chase. This was . . . the Alpha's point of view, I thought. The reddish wolf on his right charged ahead - **_Bloodsucking bastard, trying to kill MY Bells, I'll rip you into pieces!_** \- and the other, dark grey matched his pace. They were trying to surround him, I realized. But that'd be hard without all five of them . . .

I heard myself whine at the two with me.

 _Will they be okay? Who's with Jake? Who are you? I feel like I should know- OW! Ow, stop!_

 ** _EMBRY YOU FUCKER DON'T HURT HER!_** roared the voice in my head that I now recognized as Jacob. Sunny, smiling Jacob - currently cursing the black-eared wolf on my right while simultaneously trying to kill Laurent. I wasn't the only one to realize this.

 ** _Focus on the hunt, Jacob._** ordered a solemn voice - the Alpha, I knew somehow.

 ** _This is hard enough with only three, idiot. Kill the leech, then you can bite Embry's head off._** sneered the dark grey wolf with him.

Embry, for his part, was licking one of my wounds that had ( _Already?_ ) scabbed over. It stung and started bleeding again, covering his snout in crimson. He looked at me, ears pressed to his skull and looking as apologetic as a giant mutant wolf could.

That comment elicited a bark of laughter from the other wolf with me, the brown and black, who was promptly snapped at to shut up by the black Alpha. Those three started muttering orders and projecting points of view, their main focus on killing Laurent now - difficult with only three. Their coordination became background noise as Embry and the other wolf spoke to me gently.

 ** _Hey, little sister._** he greeted, following Embry's example of wolfie medicare; his foreleg rose and put a gentle pressure on my shoulder, encouraging me to lay on my stomach. I settled with my head on my paws, Embry nestling close and cleaning more wounds - it stung but I trusted that they knew what they were doing.

Soon both sides of me were stinging with newly opened wounds, two wolves focusing on cleaning me up and unmatting the dark fur. I heard a few telltale _CRACK!_ s of my ribs, one collarbone, and my hindleg - but after they were seemingly shifted into their proper places, they started to heal.

 ** _I'm Jared. You're Bella, yeah?_** the brown-black said in my head.

 _Y-yeah. Um . . . I hate to ask, but what's going on?_

 ** _We're cleaning your wounds. Jake said you hadn't been getting sick or anything, meaning you're still susceptible to infection. Happened to Paul, too - the sudden, outta nowhere change._** Embry explained, batting one of my ears playfully with his paw.

I was grateful for a semblance of normalcy. Suddenly being a huge wolf, then finding out Jacob was also a wolf, the watching through some weird mind reading thing as he hunted down a vampire while Embry and Jared licked me clean - another bought of laughter from Embry here, along with an appreciative chuckle from Jared and a snort from Paul (the dark grey, I was told) - it was a lot to take in. Embry being his teasing self was nice. Jacob being his protective self was nice too, even if it was . . . violent. Much more so than I knew; looking into people's heads brought up new truths, I guess.

 ** _You got_** **that** ** _right._** agreed Paul distantly, **_I know waaaaaay too much about Emily and Kim than I wanna._**

A fit of annoyance from Jared and Sam (the Alpha, I figured, from process of elimination), along with a general feeling of agreement from Embry and Jacob. Then two girls showed up in my head, gazed at lovingly - almost reverently - one being older and scarred, but still pretty, the other younger and a bit shyer-looking, but also pretty. Quilete, both of them. And finally, a surge of protectiveness of the two, and a renewed fervor to hunt down Laurent and prevent him from harming either girl - the way he'd harmed me.

 _Um. Okay. Embry . . . can you explain what's_ really _going on now?_

 ** _Ah. The wolf thing?_**

 _No, the process of photosynthesis. YES THE WOLF THING._

He visibly winced at the volume my thoughts were raised to, but he gave a good natured laugh and I felt the amusement of the other wolves - especially Paul's. I felt that Jake and Paul would love to join in, but Sam was having them focus on Lawrence. They were halfway to Canada, having zig-zagged over every inch of the woods up to now. Laurent was being tricky; he evaded Paul for the fourth time, and this time, Paul's irritation was loud and clear:

 ** _AAAAGHHH! This motherfucker! Where is he going?_**

 _Alaska, probably._ I thought absentmindedly, _He was there with the Denali coven for a bit. I think he liked . . . um, Irina? Yeah, Irina._

Sam perked up at the information. **_How do you know, pup?_**

I tried my hand (mind?) out at this thought sharing thing. Snippets of information from his conversation with me before I turned into a friggin wolf were accompanied by memories of the Cullens. My heart seized up in pain when _his_ face or voice popped up inevitably, but the information got across. I could feel the disgust for my . . . well, relationship; but I could also feel a gleam of understanding (the tiniest bit), and a lot of outrage at Edward for . . . for what he did to me. What he was _still_ doing to me. The pain felt muted now, but that might've been the fact that I was bleeding. And that was _real_ pain.

And all of a sudden I felt faint. And my vision blurred.

 ** _FUCK._** was the general consensus as black spots pulsed around the scenery my eye were taking in.

 ** _The leech must've gotten a major artery - Bella, roll on your back so we can see where._** urged Jared, his snout bloody and nudging my shoulder.

 ** _Spirits help us, he got her chest._** Embry whispered in horror.

 ** _THAT LEECH GOT HER HEART?_** screamed Jacob; I saw, groggily, as anger fueled his limbs and he managed one last sprint to clamp his jaws around a shrieking Laurent. Silvery stuff spilled out of marble skin, where blood should be pouring. Paul and Sam lunged in on the fun, shaking their heads ferociously and tearing a doomed vampire into little pieces. All the while, Jared and Embry though appreciative of the sight, were panicking over my torn chest.

 _Don't worry so much, Jake . . . you'll get white hairs. Not so nice with how red you are . . . Concentrate on not getting killed, please._

 ** _She didn't notice - he shredded her good._** Jared assessed gravely, starting in on putting pressure on my wound by leaning on my aching heart ( _CRACK! CRACK CRACK!)_ with his front legs.

I screamed in pain as I felt my still-fragile ribs breaking under Jared's weigh. Embry sent a stab of sympathy, but determination; he began to clean desperately, trying to gauge the true damage done to my wolf body: from the grimness in his thoughts and the fear in his posture, it didn't look good.

 _At least I didn't get bitten this time,_ I muttered faintly.

 ** _THIS time?_** asked Paul in horror, at the same time as Sam's, **_Hold on, pup- Bella._** and Jacob's desperate yelling of my name and various curses.

 _Later,_ I managed to answer Paul, at least, as I passed out.


	2. Pain

**A/N: Hey! So to be honest, I have like 6 chapters already typed up and am using them as a buffer between me frantically writing more and anyone who's waiting for more . . . so . . . it might be suckish 'cuz I wrote it all in one swoop? IDK, just a warning. Thanks for the reviews and favorites and follows, it made me super happy!**

 **This chapter's a little . . . well, I'm not TOO too proud of it, but it gets the story going and the relationships building, so that's all that matters to me.**

* * *

When I woke, I was curled up and laying on my side; labored breathing, each expansion of lungs greeting me with pain, woke me first. My nose sniffed, cautious of blood, but there was little (at least, not as much as I expected). I'd been moved somehow, to a little dip in the earth: one side was walled by an ancient tree trunk, moss running down its side into the dirt pit, the abundance of plants casting shadow over the rest. It was very . . . den-like.

The earth smelled fresh, and I made out long gouges along the upward slant lit with sun. Something had dug this recently. Probable it was meant to house me. Probable it was scratched into existence by the guys.

Speaking of which . . .

 ** _Bella!_** called Jared, his voice all cute childlike eagerness, **_You woke up!_**

A somewhat pathetic whimper accompanied my, _I guess I did. How long was I out?_

Jared whined. **_A week. You're still not even halfway better, though._**

 _Oh God. A WEEK? Charlie is probably going nuts! Jared, I gotta get back! How do I turn back?_ My thoughts were chaotic, drowning out Jared's attempts at distraction, reassurance, and/or pleading.

I tried to get on my feet but it seemed I started bleeding again. The iron scent was strong all of a sudden, making me sway with dizziness; I was only half upright, my hindlegs numb and the rest of me trying to drag myself with my forelegs. Jared panicked, threw his head back to howl - summon the others from wherever they were right now - and starting running towards me. He was far away ( ** _Sam increased the patrolling range after you went under.)_**

The four other consciousnesses popped into my head, concerned at first. Upon realizing that I was trying to get on my feet and go back to Charlie, to Forks, they erupted into full-blown panic and were trying to tell me all at once the same message: **_STOP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND LIE THE FUCK DOWN._**

 _Can't . . . Charlie . . . worried sick . . . week . . . missing person . . . Lawrence . . . my_ cohesive thoughts managed as my imagination got away from me; images of a haggard Charlie calling my name in the forest, then him alone in the house staring at my room blankly, then my death being proclaimed and my friends - what was left of them - coming to my funeral and wondering why they were there; I certainly hadn't been, these past months.

I guess my little wolf recovery nest wasn't far from La Push because suddenly Jacob (the reddish one, second largest of the pack) was there, snarling his annoyance and pushing me back into my lying-down position. My ribs ached in protest to the force, but there was no sympathy - **_You're being stupid, Bells. Stop that._** Jacob explained irritably.

General, murmured agreement. A casual insult thrown in, compliments of Paul.

 _Charlie's somewhere looking for me!_ I hissed at Jake, _And I'm sitting here in the woods in doggie form, when I should be making sure he's not planning my funeral!_

Jake's eyes turned cold. **_Maybe if you thought that before you went hiking alone, you wouldn't have been attacked by the bloodsucker and lying there like you are now._**

I had no reply to that; I hung my head in shame. I could be dead right now, and Charlie would _really_ be planning a funeral. But . . . that meadow was my last connection to him. I was desperate, and stupid, and heartbroken. I still am, I suppose, though recent events have taken precedent. I risked myself without thinking about Charlie then - wasn't it hypocritical to be risking myself again, for him?

 _Sorry,_ I thought, ashamed of my thoughtlessness towards my father, _But . . . is he okay? What are we going to do?_

Sam answered, ever the voice of reason:

 ** _We hadn't even been sure if you'd survive, pup. In the likelihood you didn't, you'd be presumed dead after a while and that would be that. However, as you've woken up . . . weak as you are, and injured and fighting the phasing fever, I think we can pass you off as having gotten attacked by "bears" and being found collapsed in the woods._**

 _Phasing fever?_

 ** _Sign of being wolf,_** Jacob explained, his gentleness returning; the russet wolf curled up next to me, warming me up and poking his nose at my wounds. **_Normally, we go through a mega growth spurt, lots of fever, and temper issues . . . then we phase._**

 ** _You and me are the weird ones, pup._** Paul said, amused. **_Phase first, fever later._**

 ** _It's why you're healing slow, too._** added Embry, **_Scares the living daylights out of your brothers, but hey - you do you, Bella._**

 _I'm special, though._ my snarky reply went, a smirk pulling my lips back into a wolfish grin. Jacob barked a laugh at my expression, amused that a wolf could smirk so perfectly. The others - Jared now having arrived from his patrol - were crowded outside the den, multicolored muzzles sticking through the foliage; seemed everyone but Sam was fighting to get a glimpse of me and make sure I was alright with their own eyes. I felt my chest warm up a little at reading those thoughts.

Sam said softly, **_No matter what you were before, Bella Swan, you are pack now. Our sister. The pack looks out for their own._**

 _Oh . . ._

I smiled. I always wanted an older brother; seems I had three! Along with Jake and Embry, of course, but they were technically younger than me. A fact that they scoffed at and replied with, **_But you're still a runty shrimp, Bells, so un-technically, we're ALL older than you._**

 _Oh, go fetch a stick, you brats._ I grumbled, amusing all my brothers.

Embry managed to crawl down the slope he'd dug (his memories of dirt in his paws haunted him - **_I had dirt in places I didn't know I had, thank you very much!_** _)_ and he checked over me. I was bad off, he saw, but the super healing and stuff would hold me back from dying - my blood was being replenished too quickly for my wounds to bleed me out, luckily enough. The Forks doctors would be scratching their heads in wonder, but the cover story would hold up.

 _So . . . how do I change back, then? I'd like to get back to Charlie - and Forks - ASAP._ i admitted; un-secretly, I wanted to show Charlie a better me, too. I'd been a zombie until I phased, and I regretted it. Maybe it was my close brush with death, maybe it was the remembrance of the elation of phasing for the first time and _running_ , maybe it was the comfort that the pack was giving me . . . but I felt different. Better, maybe. Not complete, not yet, but . . . getting there.

Jake managed to interpret my mess of emotion perfectly; he gave me a proud smile, and so did Embry (though he admitted he didn't have Jacob's level of understanding). **_You're going to be fine, Bells. I've always said, right?_**

 _Yeah. Thanks, Jake. Now get out. I wanna get back to Forks and I can't stay a wolf and do it._

Sam was concerned. **_Are you well enough? I smell blood._**

 _No pain. The blood is old, maybe? I feel . . . good._

 ** _Sure? If you're like Paul, you can't phase again until the fever passes._**

Ooh, that would suck. I _liked_ being a wolf. It was the best I'd felt for . . . for a long time. But I had to go through the fever to be able to be a wolf all the time, whenever I wanted. I couldn't get the first time I ran out of my head. It was too good to taint with memories of healing in a hole in the ground.

 _I'd like to heal as a human and live like a wolf._ I answered, feeling happy and light. _I think it will be good for me, honestly. And I need to see Charlie._

 ** _You_** **do** ** _feel fine. All right - but we're going to be right here._** Jake said cautiously.

 _Outside. That's near enough, don't you think?_

Embry and Jake vacated the den, leaving me alone to attempt my first conscious phase. They joked that they could stay if I wanted, but Sam snarled and branded them as perverts and I got the picture. They warned me that it would feel like I got the wounds fresh all over again, and that I would start bleeding a lot, and that they weren't exactly sure if that's actually what would happen, and that I'd be very sick . . . but I took it in stride. They'd be there this time, they'd take care of me.

It had to be a pack thing, the trust. Paul said it wasn't, that I'd been so strung up all this time . . . and so their actual kindness and familial concern was prompting me to trust them. I tried not to think about that . . . made it sound like I was desperate.

 ** _Ready, Bells?_** Jacob asked.

 _Think human, yeah?_

 ** _Exactly. We have clothes for you when you're ready._** Sam assured me.

I took a deep, painful breath, and phased.

Oh.

Oh god.

This was more painful than I'd imagined.

A shrill and agonizing scream left my throat raw and tears pouring out of my eyes like blood out my wounds. I was vaguely aware of terrified, low voices approaching and cool arms wrapping around me, wrapping me in something soft and crinkly. Sam's jacket, I thought; it smelled like him, big enough for him; the thing was a quilt on me, and quickly soaked up my blood.

"Cold . . ." my voice rasped, my body shivering against whoever was carrying me like a child, cradled against their chest.

"Oh, fuck _me."_ muttered a terrified Jacob (he was carrying me), "I'm bloody 111 degrees, _how is Bella_ ** _cold?_** "

"I thought she was fine!" Jared said in horror.

Paul gasped sharply. "When I phased . . . all those stupid fucking splinters healed, remember, Jared? But during the fever . . . everything seemed worse. A paper cut wouldn't stop bleeding, bruises stayed for weeks and weeks-"

"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FORGET THAT LITTLE DETAIL, YOU SHITHEAD?"

"Can it, Black." ordered Sam's voice, the steady bass cutting through my whimpering and gasping breaths, and Jake's trembling, unsteady voice. "Paul, run to La Push: talk to the Elders, tell them what's going on. Jared, drive to Forks and give the search parties and hospital a head's up. Embry- no, don't phase yet- follow me and Jacob until the patrol border, then patrol in Jared's place."

An outraged whine sounded, I was jostled a bit and I realized Sam and Jacob were _running_ in the woods with me.

" _We_ ** _should_** _have moved her_ ** _beforehand_** _, dammit!"_ came a hiss from Jacob.

"Calm it. We didn't know. Everything about this is new to us. Focus on getting to my car."

"PAUL KNEW."

"You know why he didn't want to remember his phasing fever." Sam said coldly.

"So . . . rry . . ." I choked out between gulping breaths; I was cold again, and even prone in Jake's hold, I was getting dizzy. I tried to smile a little. "I'm . . . jus . . . t . . . a royal . . . pain . . ."

"Lay her down quickly- Excuse me, pup-" Sam mumbled, and tearing sounds predated more pain around my ribs, pressure from makeshift bandages to stop my bleeding. "That'll have to do. There's the car, put her in the back - I'll drive, you bind her up tight. She's even worse off human . . . we should've waited a few days."

"WHY DIDN'T WE?"

"I didn't feel any pain from her - did you? She must've been healing quickly as a wolf. Dammit, and she can't phase back! Fucking backwards phasers - both of you, giving me headaches."

Car door slamming. Shifting me onto my back. More painful bandaging, gentle hands and gentle whispers in Quilete. A revving engine, a rare curse from Sam. A howl in the distance, and the smell of blood. A harsh turn pushed Jacob's hands in my side hard, and the rib seemed to disagree with what it touched: I moaned, soft and tearfully, knowing that our sensitive ears wouldn't be able to handle it if I shrieked again.

Sam became liberal with the word "fuck" and its variations. Jacob was shaking.

I blacked out briefly, the next thing I know being the screeching brakes and the sound of a large group of people gathered. I smelled dogs - the search dogs that Charlie mentioned a few times. Jake slid me from the carseat, a sensation elicit of another painful cry, and I heard Jacob talking to my father; he and Sam switched places, with my Alpha carrying _me_ now.

"Officer Swan! Bella needs an ambulance. Now!" Jacob said desperately; evidently he realized there was an ambulance waiting, probable compliments to Jared who'd driven ahead I suppose, and I was rushed straight there with only a grunt from Charlie.

Another black out. I was being wheeled around and the lights were white and bright. Scissors cut away at the clumsy bandages on my torso, gasps expressing terror at the wounds carved into my flesh.

 _Vampires,_ I thought to myself crossly, _Can't get enough of me and my blood._

"How is this girl still **_alive?_** _"_ gasped some stranger.

"She's burning up."

"Probable infection of the large laceration over her heart."

"Red and inflamed. Not as bad as it _could_ be."

"Losing too much blood. Get her into surgery."

Black out again.

I woke up screaming, because of a vampire _again._ But not the internal, soul-crushing pain of losing Edward; it was all physical, these wounds from Laurent. The monitors around me were screaming in alarm, my heart rate soaring to probable unhealthy heights - people rushed in the previously empty room, shouting at each other and at me. I was injected with something harshly, then pricked on my hand, and-

Black out - nothingness.

"Why isn't her fever going down?" Charlie asked somewhere distantly; it sounded like I was listening through a tube. Did that happen often? At all? I'd have to ask Carslile sometime. No . . . wait, no, _he_ had gone and taken all of them with him.

All of me, too.

I felt that familiar gaping hole in my chest, even as I realized there were drugs numbing the rest if me. It made me want to wrap my arms around my waist, cover up wounds that were not there, really. Or were they? I couldn't feel any pain - _Thank_ ** _God!_** \- so there might've been.

I was just a bleeding mess, wasn't I?

"Bells, it's . . . it's Charlie. Dad. Listen . . . I don't care 'bout why you . . . why you went into a state after that . . . _boy_ -" Charlie spat this word out vehemently. "-left. I just wanted you back, like before. And now . . . I don't care if you open your eyes and cry every night. I just need you to . . . to wake up, Bells." Charlie's voice broke. "This old man can't seem to remember how to live alone anymore."

I wanted to sit up right then and there and hug Charlie, apologizing for all the pain I'd put him through. I wanted to promise that everything would be better, that he didn't have to remember how to live alone anymore, because I was there. I was his daughter. I was going to _BE_ his daughter, properly, now.

But when my eyes opened, a stranger's face was peering at me; their eyes widened and they ran out, and I blacked out again.

 _Wake up, Bella._ came his angelic whispers, _Live. That's all I ever wanted for you._

I loved him, I missed him, I hated him, I needed him. Damn him for hiding in my head. Damn him for leaving me like that. Damn him for dangling US in front of me, then taking it away. Damn him for coming into my life, storming me by force with his onyx and gold eyes and his perfect smiles and his bronze, tussled hair.

 _Come back, Bella._ he pleaded. _Come back, for me._

"I'm coming back." I answered him in that dream space, "Please don't leave."

 _Never._

False promises.

 **Nothingness**.

"Hey, Bells. Dunno if you can hear me this time, but I'm back. Charlie's okay - visits you everyday. So do we - I mean, in shifts. Jared always plays you his crappy music, so Paul plays you _his_ crappy music, which gets me and Embry playing you _our_ **_superior_** music. Sam just reads to you. Emily's tagged along once - can't wait to meet you for real."

 _Wake up._

"I'm trying, I am."

 _Wake up. Please._

"It hurts."

 **Nothingness.**

Nothing but floating in free space with a hole in my heart and wounds on my chest and sides and shoulders. Edward whispering, playing the part of my consciousness; myself trying to answer, trying to _open my eyes._

"Back again." announced Paul from far away, "You should wake up soon, idiot puppy. Everyone's worried sick - if it's not gross images of Kim and Emily, it's even grosser shit about you. Like, I'll take a naked Emily over a gory Bella any day, yeah?"

Faint music. Holy crow . . . _does Paul listen to K-pop?_

 **Nothingness.**

 _"_ Bells, Paul says you were smiling when he came yesterday. Says you like his shitty tunes. Please prove him wrong." Jared said, his own music playing. _What? SCREAMO? Who ARE you people?_

 **Nothingness.**

"She SO grinned yesterday." argued Jared.

Paul harrumphed. "Probably laughing at your shit taste."

"Why are you two even here?" came Sam's annoyed voice, "Your shifts already passed. Bella needs a break from your music wars."

"Reading Charlotte Russe is NOT going to help." muttered Jared.

"What is **_with_** your obsession with English romance novels from the 1800's?"

 _SAM. WHAT. Oh my god. This isn't real. This is hilarious. See, Bella? You have a lot to live for._ I told myself, feeling the smile on my face and the surprise of the three as they witnessed it; their excited shouting tapered off into that familiar nothingness.

 _Not them, Bella, please._ Edward begged, _I want you to be human, not a monster._

 _Don't call them that!_

 **Nothingness . . .**

 _Monsters. Beasts. As dangerous as the ones who gave you your scars._ he argued.

"NO!"

Jacob's worried face swam into my vision, and I blinked to sharpen the sight. His hand was squeezing my own, and I figured that I'd shouted that last one aloud. Even in a coma, I seemed to have that habit of talking in my sleep. I smiled tentatively at Jacob; his relieved smile was sunnier than ever.

He buried me in a bear-hug that made sure he wasn't squeezing my wounds.

"Hi, Jake." I said finally, muffled by his bulk.

"You're back. You're finally back." he chanted, making me chuckle.

I smirked into his chest. Jacob was too high strung about me sometimes. I had to calm him down. "How have you and Embry not stopped making fun of Paul for liking _K-pop?"_

Jacob choked out a laugh, finally releasing me and sitting back, grinning madly. "Sam ordered us to stop after the first fight. Paul bit me and Embry so hard, we got scars on our necks."

"Wow, how impressive." I deadpanned, rolling my eyes, "A scar from a fight resulting from you making fun of Paul's music. Very macho. How aren't all the ladies falling down before you?"

"Watch it, Swan." Jacob replied playfully, "You've been out of it for weeks. How d'you know I haven't got a line waiting outside the door?"

"Puh-leez. I can smell the distinct lack of perfume and estrogen from here."

Jacob widened his eyes, his face melting from its easy smile to something more serious. "Your senses are enhanced?"

Nodding, I pointed out the earth and animal on his scent. Jacob sighed.

"Looks like you missed out on the temper tantrums in your coma, Bells. You grew a lot. Startled the doctors, but my dad managed to convince them it was a Quilete thing. Charlie confirmed that you're a quarter - Renee had the genotype, just not the phenotype."

"Er . . . she has the Quilete genes but doesn't look anything like a native." I translated, feeling a stab of pain when I realized who I shared that Biology class with. His warning to stay away from the wolves came to mind; I wrapped my arms around my middle, like I'd been dying to do in sleep.

Jacob narrowed his eyes, and pulled me into another hug. "Don't think about him, Bells. Think about . . . oh, I dunno, the fact that Quil phased while you were out?"

I pulled out of the hug sharply, my eyes widening. "Really?"

He grinned, though his eyes were a little hard. "He was ecstatic; it was honestly creepy as hell."

I smiled. Quil, Jake, and Embry were reunited after weeks of . . . well, separation. Wolves and men. Of **_course_** Quil was going to be happy. He lost his friends, one after the other, and had been scared for them. I was happy too - got myself another brother.

 _Another distraction,_ **he** said silkily, plaguing my mind again, _from your true world. Leave, Bella. Leave Forks, and be happy._

 _I'm happy here._ my own thoughts replied hotly, _Stop telling me that._

Jacob looked confused as I had an internal argument. I ripped myself from hissing at my subconscious and raised my eyebrow at him. "Quil was lonely. Now he's got you guys back - _duh_ , he's ecstatic."

Jacob looked thoughtful. "Didn't think of it that way. Ah, well, more to make fun of the idiot for."

The words sounded familiar. I blinked, then muttered, "Remind me to bite Paul."

A tick. "Not that I'm complaining, but why exactly is Paul getting a chunk torn out of him?"

"As if I'm going to be able to take a chunk out of _Paul-"_ I remembered how huge his wolf was; him, Sam, and Jacob were pretty much _behemoths_ \- "and because I distinctly remember him calling me an 'idiot puppy'. Why am _I_ a puppy? _You're_ a puppy."

Jacob looked justly outraged. "What? **_Puppy?_** I'll have you know I am a very badass giant mutant wolf, thank you."

I gave him a sly grin. "I think you mispronounced 'puppy' there, Jake. Don't know how - it doesn't sound anything _like_ 'wolf', but you've said stupider things, I guess."

"Amen to that!"

Looks like we had company. I could hear the entire pack crowding the hallway, complaining at Jared in the doorway.

Jacob twitched. "Shuddup, Jared."

Jared bounded over to my hospital bed, grinning ear to ear. _Puppy_ , I thought with a smirk; from the identical one gracing Jake's face, he was thinking the same thing. "Hi, Bella. You look horrible."

"Thanks, Jared. Really boosts my ego."

"Idiot," muttered the newly arriving Quil from behind.

He grinned. "Anything for you, little sister." he chirped, then bouncing on the balls of his feet (shuffling out of the doorway to accommodate the rest of the pack), "I've got tons of KISS and MCR to give you!"

Paul took this as a cue to snarl, "Only three CDs. We agreed."

Embry barked out a laugh. "We got you all presents, Bella! CDs from the best of us-" He gestured to Jake, and Quil who I assumed shared their taste in music. "-and the worst-" Pointing to Paul and Jared, predictably. "-and weird books from Sam and good food from Emily."

Our Alpha scowled. "My books are not weird."

With the whole pack inside, the room was crowded and loud - _How has a nurse not kicked them all out yet?_ \- and after the presentations of numerous get-well gifts (exactly what Embry had indicated), Sam called us all to order. It seemed the pack needed to address me; everyone's joking and teasing faded into stern frowns, and in Paul's case, the ever-present scowl.

"You've been in a coma for a month, Bella." he started off, (Embry's, "Real cheerful, Sam." was met with a vicious elbow to the ribs.) "In this time, you've missed a lot. We've been trying to convince Charlie that it's in your best interest to move in with my fiancee, Emily; had to lie a bit, say you were friends through Jacob. It's . . . to keep you close to the pack."

Jacob volunteered, "Personally, Bells, I thought it might be . . . well, good to get away from Forks." _From memories of him,_ he seemed to mean. "You'd go to the high school on the Rez, catch up in no time with brains like yours. The Elders know about you and the pack welcomes you."

Sam nodded, but Paul was determined to put in his two cents. "There's also the matter of the red-haired leech going after you."

I blinked. "What?"

Jacob growled, low in his throat. "Shut _up_ , Paul. Dammit, Bella, go bite him."

My lips twitched and tried to smile, but I looked to Sam.

"Vampire. She showed up a little after we killed the other one - you remember - and we caught her snooping around your house, the spot you'd been healing in, and the hospital. Fast and tricky, otherwise she'd be _dead_ for hunting one of _my_ pack." The last part was snarled.

I would've been touched, again, by the protectiveness in his voice; but I felt frozen. My blood ran cold as I thought. _Red hair? She? Vampire? Oh no no no no no . . . ._ I supposed a little of my horror showed; Jacob was instantly at my side, sitting on the edge of the bed and wrapping his bulky arms around me. I melted into him, taking comfort in my friend's gentle hug.

"Do you know her, Bella?"

"She's not a Cullen. Broke the treaty line too many times for that." muttered Paul darkly.

I shook my head. "No, she's not a Cullen." I raised my head, looking my Alpha in the eye. "Her name's Victoria."


	3. Transition

**A/N: Whoa, this is a lot more reviews and stuff than I expected! A big thank you to all of you lovely people! Anyways, I need suggestions on the pairing . . . with actual reasoning, please? 'Cuz I'm a Twilight noob so I don't know why people ship the things they ship (besides canon and BellaxJacob, obviously).**

 **Help me out, yeah?**

 **But seriously, THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING AND FOLLOWING! I'm so touched *sniffles* . . .**

* * *

That fun visit had been weeks ago. Fun, because my pack decided to grill me on Victoria incessantly; and oh the wonderful memories _that_ brought up. By the end of it, it seemed my heart had that gaping hole again and _he_ was talking incessantly, with that perfect voice and soothing tones that could melt me with just a word. Jacob couldn't do anything about it, with the Alpha's orders and all, so when Charlie came to visit, I looked as bad as I felt.

"Hey, Bells."

I tried for _some_ semblance of a smile. He deserved that. "Hi Dad."

There must have been something different, _alive_ , in my reply, because in spite of the situation, Charlie smiled widely. "The boys haven't dropped by yet?"

"Not yet. It's Quil's shi- uh, _turn_ today, but he's always late."

I wondered briefly what Quil's wolf form looked like. He was a bit shorter than Jacob, Sam, and Paul, but he was an inch or two taller than Jared. And where Jacob was all "big-puppy-that-will-kill-you-maybe," and Embry was all "thin-buff-kid-that-could-snap-your-neck-with-his-left-hand-but-won't" Quil seemed more "I-am-really-scary-fight-me." When I met him with the pack, he apologized sincerely . . . but my wolf senses got a sort of aggressive vibe from him.

It was because he'd _just_ gotten over the phasing fever, and he still had the temperament issues. In fact, most of the pack had that - just not me, or Jared. Nice, actually. I enjoyed rubbing it in Jake and Embry's face (and Paul's, if I could manage it without his immediate payback in the form of name-calling and a cuff on the head).

"I'm glad . . . those boys seem good." _For you_ was added, unspoken. I'd only been up and about for a bit, but Charlie could see that the "bear attack" had been almost good for me.

We spun a story that the pack had been helping the police search (which was true) when Jacob and Paul came across me (the two most covered in my blood), all mangled by a damn bear. They called the others to warn La Push and Forks, and then I was rushed to a hospital. Because they'd all found me in their side of the treaty border, they felt responsible - plus, Jacob avoiding me made him guilty. Now they saw me as a little sister (which was also true), and offered Emily's place for me to move into so that . . . I didn't have to go back to that catatonic state of things anymore.

Needless to say, Sam was a good liar and Jacob was a persuasive puppy, because Charlie agreed with little reluctance and they were already moving all my stuff. Anything to avoid remembering . . . him.

"You can always come and visit." Charlie said, sensing the change in mood.

I smiled at him. "I know. I will - all the time. It's just . . ." I hesitated, feeling a bit choked up. "I'm sorry, Dad. Not just for the bear thing, but for before that. Because I . . . I couldn't get ove-over _him_ , I was . . . I left you alone."

"You never left-"

I chuckled a little, a sting behind my eyes signaling tears. _Stupid, stupid . . ._ I didn't want to cry. "No, Dad. I put you through a lot. I was . . . I regret destroying my life and part of yours because I wasn't strong enough to take a blow."

 _To the chest. Right through the heart. It still hurts._

Charlie shuffled on his feet, then sat down next to me and hugged me. Tight.

"Bells, I was never . . . I'm a cop, Bella. I've got a scary job. But I was never so scared in my life, as when you wouldn't respond to me. Or when I'd wake you up when you were screaming. Criminals, I can take care of; I can fix that. But I didn't know how to help you at all, and it was . . . I'm _so_ glad that those boys are taking care of you."

Those boys. The guys.

Sam, my Alpha. Tall, serious, quiet Sam that loved Pride and Prejudice and Wuthering Heights (we had avid discussions about that one, which painfully reminded me of _him_ but not as . . . it was different, too, like memories were being remade). Paul, the ex-Beta; sarcastic, snippety, secret-nerd Paul with a cocky smirk and a hand that always managed to tussle my hair. He called me "idiot puppy" because I hated it (I didn't mind it so much anymore, though). Jared, talkative and friendly Jared that didn't want to admit he was eccentric and mother-hennish. Embry, little brother that teased me without fail but managed to make me laugh, too. Quil, quiet and solemn but gentle, happy to be part of the pack, glad to call me sister and back Embry up. And, of course, Jake. My sunny Jake. How would I get by without his playful joking and his silent understanding and the way his eyes lit up when he talked about working on his machines?

Those boys. The guys. My brothers. My pack.

 _Monsters . . ._

There was no one I loved as much as . . . as _him_ , but they managed to make me forget him. I was used to solitude and privacy - better to break down in, better to react to _nothingness_ \- but with six brothers that could sniff out a mood change 100 miles away, it was impossible to be sad. To brood. To stop.

Even the anger and hurt I felt when Sam was interrogating me on Victoria was better than the emptiness I had been struggling with all year.

"I'm glad too. Even if they _are_ all mangy brutes." I replied, pulling out of Charlie's clumsy yet heartfelt hug. "I think the Rez will be good for me, Dad. And Emily's a great cook, I can make you dinner whenever still."

Charlie smiled, and it was all hope. "I've got to get back - but I can stay until one of them gets here."

I shook my head. "It's okay, Dad. I'm not _afraid_ of being alone." _With the wolf senses, I don't feel like I ever am. I'm always_ hearing _things._

He nodded, standing and easing towards the door. "I'll come back after my shift is over, Bells. Might be able to sneak in something other than that hospital gruel."

Smiling, I waved. "Thanks, Dad. That'd be great."

Charlie left, and I was alone with my thoughts. With _him,_ who was always with my thoughts - whether it was speaking to me or simply hovering in the back of my mind. Always, always there.

 _Why don't you stay with him?_ he asked, _Or better yet, leave Forks and go to Renee._

 _Why should I?_

 _Please . . ._

 _No!_

He was always talking. He was always there. Whispering. Sometimes I'd give in, sit and stare blankly and listen to him. He had the most beautiful voice. But I'd been getting better at _feeling_ things again, at ignoring his promises of painlessness and love.

"You're doing it again." muttered Quil from the doorway; he popped in a new CD into the player (hooray for private rooms in deserted corridors) and strode over, a little smile on his face. I hadn't noticed him until then? Paul would've taken advantage of that.

"Doing what?"

"Thinking too hard. The more you think, the worse it gets."

I raised a brow. "Some might consider thinking the sign of an intelligent being." Quil was always so quiet - like he was afraid if he said the wrong thing, he'd be abandoned again. I suppose he took Jake and Embry disappearing on him very hard. I tried to coax his old, teasing self out whenever I could.

Quil's little smile grew a little wider. "Maybe. But your thinking is usually brooding anyways. I can tell; you wrap your arms around yourself, like you're hiding something or curling up."

I blinked. Did I do that? I looked down, realizing that, yes, I did.

"Oh. And here I thought you all were just really good at sensing mood changes."

Quil snorted. "Embry? _Jared?_ Sensitive? Are you sure the phasing fever's passed, Bella? I sense a little delusion . . ."

"Oh, shut up." I laughed. But I quieted and sighed. "I know I'm still a mess because of . . . him. Ugh . . . I can't even say his name, it's that bad. But . . . I think I'm getting better. Feeling better."

"I know. We all do. We think it's, frankly, disgusting that you've kissed a blood-sucker, but we're not gonna hold it against you. They're tricky bastards. And you're not weak; after fighting one in your first phase - a backwards phase, may I add - you're definitely strong enough to take a blow. Or seven."

"Oh. You heard me and Charlie? That's a little embarrassing." So was the entire, I-love-a-vampire-but-now-I'm-his-mortal-enemy-and-so-is-my-new-pack thing. Oh, and the compliments, blunt as they were; I was blushing, of course. "Also, that's probably the most I've heard you say in a long time."

Quil gave a wolfish grin. "I've got worse control than the others. Constantly meditating, yeah?"

"Glad I don't have that problem. Remind me to high five Jared later." I replied cheeky.

Quil laughed quietly. "Sure, Bells. Oh, by the way, there was some sort of fight in the hospital lobby - it's actually really funny, people are placing bets. Wanna go watch?"

I wrinkled my nose. "I'm not supposed to move." Plus Quil might get riled up or something, or even get _dragged into the fight_ , and I'd be hard-pressed to hide a huge wolf Quil in my hospital curtains.

"Yeah, but the nurses are all down there trying to get people to go back up-"

He was cut off by a tenseness that I copied. There was a smell . . . a sweet, sickly sweet smell. It was so, _so_ faint. But I knew that smell, and suddenly I was in the forest again, Suddenly I was being clawed at, torn apart, a hole in my chest and my ribs creaking under dark fur. Pain flashed through my body, the iron scent of blood only overpowered by that sickening smell. I wanted to throw up . . .

Which Quil sensed, because the trash can was suddenly on my lap and I was heaving out hospital gruel.

Our ears picked up on light - too light - footsteps, somewhere in the hall.

"This blood-sucking, bold fucking _BITCH."_ he snarled savagely, tossing his cell onto the bed. "Call the others. I'm going to try to scare her off without causing a scene."

Victoria. This was ridiculous - it was _broad daylight_ and Quil was here. Then again, if she did her research, we were the youngest in the pack - the greenest wolves. I was still injured and healing, and she blended into a human crowd more than Quil would, if he got angry enough.

Still unsure if she was insane or brilliant, I dialed for Sam.

It was Emily that picked up, her voice pleasant and welcoming. "Hi, Quil-"

"Emily!" I hissed, "It's Bella. Please, we need the pack. Victoria showed up at the hospital - Quil's gone to confront her, but there's so many people around . . ."

She was all business now. "They'll be there in ten. Sit tight."

She hung up, and I listened intently as Quil's heavy, graceful steps faded to meet quicker, lighter, ones. An earthy, brother-scent mixed with _her_ scent. It was wrong, I knew instinctively, that the scents were mixing without blood. We killed each other, that was why the Quilete ancestors took on the skin of the wolf: to kill the threat of the Cold Ones.

 _Stay here. Your scent is earthier, now. She couldn't tell that you weren't alone, not after Charlie left. She wanted you, but will settle for the pack who was annoying her. She likes to play; she'll take the wolf and leave._

If that was Edward suggesting I let my brother die so I could live . . .

Sit tight.

As if I was gonna do that.

"Go to hell." I muttered, easing myself from my blankets. The floor was cold under my bare feet, but I was in a rush. He was right about Victoria. She liked playing with things; if she didn't, what kind of masochistic idiot would she be to have been mated to _James?_

She'd get rid of the lone, young wolf first. If only to piss off those that killed Laurent. If only to get to me psychologically, to make me think I needed to be alone to prevent further harm to my brothers. After all, she knew that was how I worked. Who was the idiot that went after James with a recording of my mom's voice?

Yeah, that was me. And I'd do it again.

I stumbled into the wall, grasping at the doorframe. It hurt. It hurt a lot. Pain medication was wearing off. Probably because my new wolfie metabolism was burning through it. Yeah, I felt like crap. I was healing, but it wasn't 100% done yet.

 _Stupid Laurent, stupid James, stupid Victoria . . ._

"-if I don't want some little dog? What if I want the little bitch you're guarding, hm?"

Quil's reply was terse, protective. "You will not touch her, _blood-sucker._ You had best leave."

"You can stop talking now, _dog._ You can also piss off. That girl's mate killed mine; **_I want her dead._** _"_

"A fight here wouldn't benefit either of us."

"And yet, I believe that as long as Edward Cullen's mate dies, the laws of secrecy can bite it. You can either move aside, little boy, so I can rip the bitch's intestines out, or I can tear your heart out, and _then_ I will kill her."

 _Nope, nope, nope, not happening!_

I knew they were by the corridor corner. I was at the end-ish of the hall. Where the turn was, where the others rooms would be on the other side. My room was very, very isolated; they'd expected a longer coma than what they got, and then I just never changed rooms.

I took a deep breath that made my newly healed ribs ache a little.

Then I rushed out.

" ** _I SEE YOU!_** _"_ came a sing-song shriek.

Quil growled something profane, caught her wrist as they rushed past him; I heard a very audible _SNAP!_ but ignored it as I ran for the fire alarm encased in locked glass. Sounds of a supernatural struggle echoed through the hall, and I smashed through the glass (wolf strength was convenient in times like these) and pulled. The alarm screamed, and as quickly as Victoria had come, she had screamed out her frustration turned tail, slipping right out a window.

Quil was bleeding lightly and had some snapped bones, and I snuck under his arm to hold him up on his one good ankle (Victoria'd caught the other); we hobbled back into my room in its isolated niche. There, Quil quickly set his bones and I dug out bandages to bind them for the short period he'd need them in healing, along with binding my own bloodied knuckles - blood still got me queasy, but this was nothing compared to Laurent's attack. Quil sighed.

"I didn't know she was crazy enough to pull shit in broad daylight." he muttered.

I nodded. "Me neither. But . . . I mean, there was barely anyone up here. Mostly coma patients with private rooms . . . anyone awake was watching the fight downstairs, the one you mentioned."

He scratched his cheek. "That's true. But still - daytime, crowded hospital. She's got a screw loose for sure."

"She wants me badly. Probably . . . she's angry that I've woken up. It would have been easier when I was asleep, healing. She might've panicked. She didn't sound all that calm."

Quil snorted. "True. Good thinking with the fire alarm."

I smiled. "She mangled you good in ten seconds; I didn't wanna risk the ten minutes waiting for Sam and Jake and whoever. And I still can't phase, so holding out together was out."

He ruffled my hair (a habit copied from Paul, damn him) and winced as he set his wrist himself. "The pack'll be furious."

Ten minutes later, Quil was proven wrong. The pack wasn't furious.

They were _beyond_ furious.

I think Sam had an aneurism, actually. And then his wolf healing kicked in before he was my hospital roommate, but still. I could see plenty of popping veins, red faces, a few smashed walls and vases. There was cussing, lots of that. Maybe unintelligible snarls, threats, promises of retribution - the works.

After the hospital calmed down and no fires were actually found, and Charlie was assured I was fine, and they snuck in after dark, we had a very angry pack meeting in my hospital room, which Quil hadn't left because he was nicking my morphine and bandages to himself.

"She panicked. When she knew Bella woke, she wanted to get her before we moved her into our territory, where Bella would be nearly untouchable. At least, that's what we figured." Quil explained.

Sam snarled. "She got past our patrols, and, right under our _fucking_ noses, managed not only to _see_ our pack sister, but _hurt_ you. This isn't about why the bitch did what she did; this is about _how."_

Paul looked murderous. "Our patrols are wider now. We have more ground to cover because idiot puppy is in Forks' hospital. It won't happen again when we move back to La Push."

Jake turned on Quil. "Why didn't you grab Bella and book it as soon as you smelled her?" he hissed.

"Oh, yes, blame me - I only got my wrist and fucking foot broken to protect her-"

"We cliff dive, you fuck, you could've jumped-"

"Because that's a BRILLIANT idea with Bella injured and bloody traumatized - the scent hit us, and she started shaking, I was trying to calm her-"

Jared looked at me worriedly as Jake and Quil argued back and forth, with Embry reluctantly dragged in. "Are you all right?" he asked in that big brother fashion. (or Mother fashion)

I nodded, feeling a little more than a bit guilty. "I smelled her and the first thing I knew, I was being . . . I was being torn apart by Laurent again. I could feel it again, and I could smell blood . . . I'm sorry. First _him_ , and now I'm a PTSD patient, huh?"

Sam, in a surprising display of affection, put a hand on my shoulder. "The first phase is hard enough without leeches after you, too. That fear, that panic, stays with you." Everyone was quiet as Sam spoke calmly for the first time. "That said, no one blames you - or Quil." A pointed look at Jacob. "We need to get you out of the hospital. We need you in La Push."

"I need to learn how to defend myself, too." I pointed out, eyes narrowing in angry remembrance of Victoria snapping my brother's bones - that wouldn't be happening again, not as long as I could stop it.

Paul nodded, an almost . . . proud? respectful? look in his eyes. "Run with me, and you'll have the ginger vamp's head between your jaws in no time, idiot puppy."

I appreciated the fact that Paul was trying to get me to laugh immensely.

"This is my fault. I'm sorry." I sighed, though, opting out of laughing. "My . . . relationship with _him_ complicated the hell out of this. By all accounts, you should be blaming me."

Sam frowned. "I said no blaming."

I gave my Alpha a weak smile. "That's just because you all want a little sister, and even with the damn phasing fever, I'm still, like, 5' 3."

Jacob laughed shakily. I know he was the most affected by this stuff. The vampire thing, the wolf thing. I had a hand in both worlds, which was as dangerous as it sounded. And of course, Jacob was all _noble_ , trying to keep me from that. "Bells, at this rate, you'll never be able to punch my face."

"Well, with the super strength thing, I can always jump."

The pack all smiled. I remembered from my short period as a wolf, their protective instincts of me were through the roof. Paul even admitted that it was weird. They were determined to track my ancestor wolf, see if whatever role they played in the pack was passed down.

"Bella, we're not going to admit that we understand your infatuation with Cullen," Sam said, ignoring my flinch at the name, "or that we condone it. Quite the opposite."

"Yeah, after what he did? The guy is a shit, Bells." Embry snorted.

Jared patted my shoulder, doing his mothering thing. "Outside of the bounds of pack, see, Bella, we will happily say that Cullen is a little bitch for abandoning you. Especially if you were . . . ech, _close_ enough to have been mistaken for mates."

I ran my hands through my hair - which was thicker and even _longer_ after the phasing fever. "How the hell did this even happen? I was . . . I was closer to the C-Cullens, more than any of you. Shouldn't I have been the first to phase?"

"We'll get to the bottom of it, idiot puppy. But for now, we need to keep the redhead bitch away from you. Damned leeches. They can't get enough of you." muttered Paul darkly.

"It's my blood." I muttered, "Even wolf, they like it. I know. Laurent said so."

A collective shiver. "That's just wrong. We're their opposites; they're supposed to _hate_ us." Quil whispered, "Is it because you're female, do you think?"

"I've been bitten before." I admitted.

Jacob bristled, and so did - unsurprisingly - mommy Jared. " _WHAT."_

I winced. "Last year. I was being hunted by James, remember? Victoria's mate. He bit me." I showed them the scar, which remained along with my new ones from Laurent; pale and silvery.

"How did you not turn? We're susceptible pre-phase." Sam muttered.

Shattered mirrors. Pain, pain in my leg, in my hand; fire in my veins. Moonlight poorly lighting a hunter with a feral grin and red eyes. I shuddered, remembering that agony of being bitten. "They sucked the venom out. He did. Him."

Jake snarled. "He's drunk from you?" He turned to Sam, eyes gleaming. "That's violation of the treaty."

I protested weakly, "It was to _prevent_ me from turning."

Jake growled. "He's got a taste now. No wonder the little shit left-"

The gaping hole in my chest felt more present than ever. I guess it showed in my face (or, as Quil pointed out, was obvious by the way I hugged my chest), because Jacob took one look at me and softened. "Sorry, Bells."

I nodded. "I understand." my voice said quietly.

Sam sighed. "For now, let's try to get you out. Emily says your room is practically ready."


	4. Pack

**A/N: Hey, don't mean to step on anyone's toes . . . but I got the strangest reviews last chapter. I think it was a . . . xover fanfiction? Including but not limited to Star Trek and Sailor Moon? I couldn't make heads of tails of it, and the sender was anonymous. Would said anonymous reviewer please let me know what you were trying to accomplish with . . . um, three or so pages of text that obviously wasn't review?**

 **Also, thanks for reading and reviewing, favoriting and following! I appreciate it so much, for real. I've still got a few chapters until I catch up to my stores, so you'll be getting semi-consistent chapter posts for a bit. After chapter 6, I'm not sure. But here, I read a fic with an author that did this:**

 **Chapter 5 : 100%**

 **Chapter 6 : 100%**

 **Chapter 7 : 50%**

* * *

"Emily, it's beautiful. Thank you." I said, my throat tight.

With my phasing fever over, and my discharge from the hospital (I was really starting to hate those), I'd spent a guarded night at Charlie's for the last time to get all the paperwork in order for my transfer to the Reservation high school. All my stuff had been either moved or replaced with other things, because I had very little in my truck when I drove down; Emily was as welcoming and gentle-natured as ever when she invited me to see the room they'd set up for me.

A new bed, a Quilete quilt covering it. A window with dark curtains and a lock, looking out at the front of the house; I could probably climb out onto the porch, which would be helpful for phasing purposes. A dresser and a standing mirror, old boy's shorts piled on the floor near (she told me I'd need them, and the tank tops on top of the dresser). Little lights strung up on the wall, along with some old photos of Arizona and my mom and Phil that she must've snagged from Charlie.

It was _really_ beautiful.

I gave Emily a big hug. "Thank you. Thank you. You have no idea . . ."

"On the contrary, I've got an inkling." she chuckled. Then, brightly, "Now! You're a wolf, and that means you've got their appetite. I've got to get the boys' dinner started for the pack meeting tonight. Jake says you can cook, so maybe I'm not so outnumbered this time, hm?"

I smiled. "I'll do my best."

"Which is what Jared said before breaking my kitchen."

Laughing, we headed to the kitchen and I helped Emily make the usual feast ("They're all pigs - all of them! Never mind wolves, they're just little black holes!" Emily complained, laughingly.) I admit that some things went missing due to my quick fingers, but Emily turned a blind eye as long as I was mostly helping.

It was a little after the pack arrived that I realized I hadn't noticed Emily's scars at all.

"Okay, pup, this is how we work: constant patrols on the weekend; you kids get the early morning and late night during the week, Paul and I split school time, usually. You'll run with someone else until you get used to it; won't be long, it's the most natural thing in the world."

I nodded. "Um . . . what about the, uh, clothes thing?"

I wasn't going to forget that as a wolf, I was essentially starkers.

"Bag tied around our feet. You're tiny, so most of the guys donated any and all of their old things. They'll fit."

"ALL?"

"You go through shit quick, idiot puppy. Jake ran outta shoes months ago."

I rolled my eyes in disbelief. "You mean to tell me you all go around shirtless and shoeless because _you don't have any clothes._ Oh my god. Poor werewolves. Rich vampires. What is this?"

Embry snorted. "Were they rich?"

Their enormous house in the middle of the woods. Antiques sitting on their walls; souvenirs from their lives. I tried not to think about _him_ , and his piano, the music, the bedroom devoid of a bed . . . I nodded. "It's rather ridiculous, actually. Alice - that's his sister - used to buy me brand-name things for fun."

Paul scoffed. "Fucking leeches, it's just rubbing it in."

I laughed at Paul's sour expression. "Not that it matters." I said softly, the pain just a bit duller this time, "So when do I start? And who with?"

"You're with me first, idiot puppy." I groaned. Paul glared. He continued, "Tonight, 10 to 2. Then with Sam the next day, 6 to 10."

I blinked. "AM?"

Jake smirked at my look of pained disbelief. "We're wolves, Bells. We don't need that much sleep. Besides, I'm skipping half of school and staying up half the night most days. You've got it easy."

Groaning, I slipped behind Jared and leaned my forehead against the muscles of his back. "Mom, save me. I like sleeping." I muttered, which to our wolf ears came out as a whiny moan.

Jared laughed, and I felt the vibrations through his back. "Sorry, Bella, you share the pack's food, you share the pack's suffering."

"I made your food."

"I rest my case."

Jared's mothering wasn't pulling through this time. "Embry, take the AM shift for your little sister."

"Make Quil do it."

"I can't, he got his foot broken for me the other day."

"In your face, Embry."

"Bite me."

"That can be arranged."

There was no way out of this. Sighing, I prepared for a late night and an early morning. It was Sunday tomorrow, so I wasn't missing any school (I needed to catch up, still, even with the transfer), but still . . . even if I wasn't a complete slob, I liked getting up a little later of Sundays. That was just tradition, after all.

Sam was smiling. "Get used to it, pup. I've given you the nicer shifts, just until you find your feet."

"Paws," I muttered.

"Just learn our routes and have fun running. After the stunt the redhead leech pulled at the hospital, she'll be cautious - the best time for you to learn the ropes and learn how to hunt."

I sighed, but smiled at my Alpha. He was the biggest brother, the stricter one. "Thanks, Sam. For everything." I sensed the ghost of a smile on Sam's face, before Paul decided to brief me.

"C'mon, idiot puppy; it's 9, so shift's in an hour. But I bet you wanna get in your better skin quick, right? It's been a while for you. I'll watch out for you; us backwards phasers've got to stick together."

"You're both pains in my ass." Sam grumbled, hugging Emily from behind (she smiled and leaned into him, washing dishes), "But pull another like this, Paul, and I might think you're going soft."

"Paul's always wanted a little sister!" Jared volunteered.

"Oh, fuck off." Flushing, Paul stomped out the house. I followed, excited to phase.

I'd only been a wolf for a little bit, but I'd felt better than I had in months. Freer. Right after that, of course, Laurent decided to rip me up, but . . . when I was running, I was flying. I could hear everything around me, I could smell the earth, I could feel my blood pumping and heart pounding and muscles pulling. It was more exhilarating on my two feet (or in this case, four paws), instead of being carried.

Becoming a wolf had brought me back to life.

And the feeling didn't change, when my human form slipped away into a mini mountain of lean muscle and dark fur and black claw and white fang. The night was sharpened, noisy, active; moonlight lit up the forest like day. I could hear Paul running with me, jaws open and pink tongue lolling outside his lips. The pounding of our padded paws on the earth was in synch, we stared with pricked ears and bright eyes at the same sudden sounds: fluttering of wings, the retreat of a fox, the snapping of a branch.

 ** _It's the best feeling in the world, isn't it?_**

 _Yeah. I've never felt so . . . so alive._

 ** _It was the same with me._**

Flashes of memories, fuzzy and painful. A man with dark skin and cold eyes holding a bottle. A woman on the floor of the dirty kitchen, sobbing and holding her cheek. Hands reaching out, small and weak, trying to stop him . . . Pain. Pain pain pain pain. The rancid smell of his breath, bruises on my neck, tears and hurt and-

 _Sorry,_ I thought with a wince, _I didn't mean to bring that up._

An internal shrug. **_Different reasons, same pain. Helplessness._**

Sitting in my bedroom in Charlie's house, staring at nothing. Wondering why you weren't good enough. Hating yourself for being not good enough. Missing someone you should hate, loving them anyway. Pain pain pain pain beyond anything. Feeling yourself drift, alone, knowing you need to get out but you can't and it hurts because you loved him and you thought he loved me but I was wrong wrong wrong-

 _Sorry,_ I apologized again, _That's embarrassing._

 ** _Helplessness. Fear. Pain. We will never feel that shit again, not anymore. We're wolves now, Bella Swan. We will never know that solitude ever again; even if we wanted to._**

 _This is why Sam put you with me first. Because we share everything._

 ** _And I'd understand your shit best. I've got a shitty past myself._**

 _I'm sorry._

 ** _None of your pitying shit, idiot puppy. I don't need it. I don't want it._**

 _Because you're free now?_

 ** _Fuck yeah. What's more liberating than turning into a big-ass dog and shitting wherever you want in the woods?_**

 ** _PAUL WHAT THE FUCK YOU DO THAT?_**

 ** _Oh for the love of- It's not your fucking shift, assface._**

 ** _NO PAUL THAT'S ACTUALLY GROSS._**

 ** _GO AWAY EMBRY._**

 ** _Why is Embry going away?_**

 ** _GO AWAY QUIL._**

 _I thought it was me and Paul's shift tonight?_

 ** _Weeeeell, we wanted to make sure you were okay, Bells-_**

 ** _GO AWAY JACOB._**

 ** _-so we're all coming with you._**

 ** _Except Sam. He's with Emily._** Accompanied with an urge to see a shy-looking girl with a round face and a pretty smile. His own Emily, with quiet words and intelligent thoughts and lavender scent . . .

 _Oh. Hi, Jared. Kim's pretty._

 ** _Hi Bella! Thanks!_**

 ** _Why are you all here. Fucking . . . GO. AWAY. I'M running with the idiot puppy tonight._**

 ** _Wow Paul, that was almost whiny._**

And that had to be Embry. Paul knew it too.

 ** _Embry fucking Call, I will tear you to fuzzy pieces._**

And then instead of a dark grey wolf running with a smaller, darkish brown one . . . well, it was six wolves all in formation. Jacob was as big as Paul, reddish instead of grey. Embry was brown with black ears and shoulders. Jared was kinda my coloring, but bigger. Quil was almost as black as Sam, just with greyish streaks. And we were all sharing thoughts and laughing, Paul lagging behind to nip at Embry's flank; Jacob speeding up to run shoulder-to-shoulder with me; Quil having to nip at Paul out of brotherly duty; Jared throwing his head back for short, excitable howls; and me joining, because there was this . . . this joy, this bubbling _happiness_ that I had to let out somehow, and the little howls were all I knew.

The woods seemed to be singing with us; every fluttering wing, every sighing insect, every leaf that danced . . . Jacob joined me and Jared's voices, much deeper than mine and just a bit more than Jared's. Embry too, his howling all short and erratic - like he was laughing, which he was. Quil's voice was steady and quieter. Paul was strong.

And somewhere back near La Push, another howl went out; our Alpha's call.

He didn't say anything in the mind speaking thing. Sam knew. I mean, it didn't take much to feel all our energy, our excitement, our laughter; mine especially, because the other five near me kept running with me in the lead, surrounding and protecting . . . and I was howling the loudest - secrecy be damned, I wasn't thinking.

I was living.

When I stopped, the pack stopped with me. I breathed in cool air, feeling as my blood rushed and my heart slowed and my muscles uncoiled. The scent here was unfamiliar, far from home, fresh and earthy.

 _I feel like I've been missing this my whole life._

Embry laughed. **_Yeah, you run like it, too. You're probably our fastest. And most agile. Paul couldn't have dodged that shiny fucker's strikes._**

I laughed as Paul reared up on his hind legs and came down on Embry, tackling him to the floor, all the while chewing on his ear. Embry yelped, whined, struggled . . . Quil and Jared stepped in, dragging their much-bigger brother off of their stupider one.

 ** _Hey! I'm not stupid._**

 _Then why do you provoke Paul when you know he's going to attack you?_

 ** _You're fucking stupid, Embry._**

 ** _Now, now, no need for that, Paul._**

 ** _You can also fuck off, "Mom."_**

 ** _Enough arguing. Where are you? I don't recognize it._**

A sense of chastisement from the Alpha. Their ears flattened like they were scolded puppies. The image made Jacob laugh, and Quil; the others either growled (Paul) or whined (the other two). Paul nipped at my flank, but I dodged out of the way and put Jared between us.

 _Mom, Paul's being mean._

 ** _Paul, don't bully our youngest._**

 ** _Fuck you! Jared, you're always protecting idiots that need to be bitten!_**

 _Mom, Paul's calling names now._

Jared batted a paw at Paul's nose, which he dodged and proceeded to lunge at Jared (his oldest friend). He brought Jared down easily, and our pack mom rolled over with a laughing whine. Then Paul advanced towards me, but I figured: a best defense is a good offense . . . and I barreled into his side, snapping playfully at him and trying to get him to roll over.

 ** _Whoa! Sam you're missing Bella beat the shit out of Paul!_**

 ** _. . . What?_**

From the others' point of view, the smaller black-brown female was biting into their ex-Beta's neck; tugging down, not truly piercing flesh, just nipping and barking. She dragged him down, dodging swipes of huge paws and yipping in response to growls and snarls, tail wagging madly; both tails, actually. The larger grey male swiped, caught her nose, she yelped and then growled, jumping on the larger's back and chewing on a irritatedly twitching ear. Brothers surrounded the wrestling two, laughing as much as wolves could laugh; finally the reddish one jumped in, and then the black-eared one, and then all six . . . with our Alpha laughing in the background, and running towards us - he was our solemn leader, but he loved his brothers and wanted to join the play.

Snapping, snarling, but wagging tails and bright eyes and tongues hanging outside our mouths. Jake was trying to get Paul to roll over, who was refusing but also trying to get me back for my "stupidness". Jared was joining Paul out of old loyalties, Embry trying to poke fun from it all and attacking anyone who crossed him - Quil was busy trying to defend him from anyone who tried to retaliate. A black wolf joined, with a short announcing howl that was mostly unneeded, and it was the first time I'd ever seen or heard or felt our Alpha let loose this much.

With Emily, he was always kinda gentle . . . always kinda soft and happy, of course, but this was . . . this was him being a kid again, and it wasn't just me feeling immense relief at seeing it.

 ** _Sam! Why are you siding with Paul? I'M your Beta!_** Jacob complained, having to fend off Sam while I was being tossed around by Paul, who was laughing and enjoying himself so much the others were freaked out - though accepting, gladly.

Images of their usual solemn or angry faces flashed by. I understood from four different minds that Sam and Paul were _never_ like this. Sam was the cold-hearted leader, the first who phased, the one who hurt his imprint (what a fun conversation _that_ was . . . soulmates . . . that stuff) - he barely smiled, he rarely joked, and never, _never_ played. Paul was angry, hurt, vicious; his background made public knowledge made him furious, and he always lashed out. He didn't _play._

Jared was so, so happy to see Paul like this. It added to the general mood, made us hyper and glad to be tumbling around like pups. And I knew that when we got back and told Emily . . . she might start crying. She was emotional like that.

 _Paul, you're going down._

 ** _Try it, idiot puppy. I'll get you by your fucking scruff like a shitty infant._**

 ** _Bella, hide behind Embry-_**

 ** _DON'T YOU DARE!_**

 _Embry, help me and I'll cook something you like next pack meet!_

 ** _FUCKING DEAL. Macaroni. Come at me, Paul, and feel the wrath of the handsomest wolf out there!_**

 ** _More bite, less bark, shitface._**

 _Huh. Well, considering that Embry is a shitface, and he's the most handsome wolf around, where does that put the rest of you guys?_

 ** _We all attack Embry. Now._**

And all obeyed the Alpha, all laughing - even Embry.

* * *

 **A/N (2): Sorry! Thought I was done, didn't ya? Well, I just wanted to say to those of you who've commented on it: YES, Seth and Leah are coming. It'll be a while, though! And, YES, Cullen-confrontation is coming! It'll be fun! I'm writing it, don't worry!**


	5. Brothers

**A/N: I'M SO SORRY THIS IS LATE I FORGOT COMPLETELY 'CUZ IT'S AP WEEK.**

 **Also . . . ANGST ALERT! FILLER ALERT! Also, I COMPLETELY made up a pack hierarchy spot. Y'all know there's Alpha (leader), Beta (vice-leader), and Omega (outcast) . . . but I wanted Bella to be a sort of binding role, so I made something up. Thelta comes from Delta and I chose it randomly. Please don't hate me . . . it's more a title than anything, so . . . onto the obligatory thank you!**

 **Thanks for the reviews and favorites! You're all the best! Any suggestions for plot? I need some creativity juice, I swear, I'm running low . . .**

 **Chapter 6: 100%**

 **Chapter 7: 100%**

 **Chapter 8: eh**

* * *

There was just something about early morning patrols that I hated.

"Maybe it's the fact that it's . . . early morning?" Jared asked, an eyebrow raised.

I glared. "I don't appreciate the sarcasm, Mom. Especially since I'm the one pulling you through English."

I was pulling ALL of the high school wolves through English. And whatever kind of history they had. Kim was doing the rest - though, we all found PE laughable now. Speaking of, I finally met Kim . . . and while I didn't want to talk about her every day and hour, I liked her a lot. I tried to bring her closer to the pack, which made her like me, too. And Jared favored me more than ever because of it.

Jake, Embry, and Quil were all just thankful I was doing their English homework for them. Something I didn't mind - Quil was a junior and Jake and Embry were sophomores, so with my own senior work, I got to read 3 different books at the same time.

But enough of that. I had to stop whispering . . . even if we'd never get caught, with how we could practically pick up _any sound_ with our wolf ears, it was a really bad idea to ignore the lessons.

"Bella. Bella? Bella. Bella-"

"WHAT Jared?" I hissed, his whispering like shouting in the quiet classroom.

"Sam texted. We gotta go."

"What? I patrolled this morning!"

I was finally moved to the crappier patrols. Finally, and unfortunately. I was on double shift last night: 10pm to 7am. And before that, I napped for about 5 hours and was on a lighter patrol with Embry. Jared was just as dead-inside as me, since he was with me on my early patrol hours, switching with Sam. A month into this stuff, I was used to it and already caught up on my schoolwork - and the others' English/History work.

But even so, I didn't wanna work _all_ the time.

Rolling my eyes, I muttered under my breath, "Stupid friggin' Alpha, thinks that just 'cuz I have you dogs' backs, I should be stupid Thelta" ( _Oh,_ that _was a fun conversation.)_ ". . . Stupid Paul, always all soft with me and stupid Sam all smiley and stupid Jake all sunny and stupid Quil and Embry all-

"You shouldn't complain that all of us like you, little sister." Jared interrupted my mumbling.

I rolled my eyes. "Why am I suddenly the little pack baby? All of you now think I could be a good Thelta."

"Thelta's traditionally the binding role. You tie the pack together outside of the compulsory loyalty." Jared reasoned, snorting into his AP Physics textbook (and blatantly ignoring the droning teacher).

Sighing, I nodded my head. "Sure, sure. Should we go?"

"What excuse this time?"

I raised my hand, smirking at Jared. The teacher paused, looked at me, and smiled a little. I was a diligent student, intelligent, and an anomaly in the community - I was interesting, but respectful. Something . . . something the people of La Push weren't all that used to. Although, because of the phasing fever, I was so much less white-looking than I used to be; my hair was darker brown, streaked with black, and thicker and fluffier; my skin was tanner, muscles toning my body, taller, graceful; my brown eyes were sharper, more feral, more wolfish. I didn't look so much like an outsider - I looked more like a halfie now, actually, especially since I kept wearing my brothers' old things. And with that, and the fact that Charlie was good friends with a lot of the people here, I'd been accepted pretty easily; the only issue being my choice of roommate . . . Emily wasn't looked kindly upon, for whatever reason everyone was hiding from me.

Mr. Soto smiled at me kindly. He was among the adults who had made sure to welcome me into the school and community immediately, despite whatever was wrong with Emily (I swear to God, if it was her scars, I was gonna bite someone. Hard.)

"Mr. Soto, um, I'm feeling pretty crap. Can I get this idiot Jared to take me home?"

Jared growled. I grinned at him.

The teacher raised a brow. "And what, Miss Swan, are you afflicted with so that requires you to withdraw from school today?"

I put on my most uncomfortable face, and willed myself to blush. "Uh . . . girl . . . things. Like . . . you know, the-"

"Miss Swan, go."

I bit down a laugh at Mr. Soto's paling face. "Thank you, Mr. Soto."

Jared trailed behind me in amazement, and as we ran out the school, ranted about how girls could always get away with this stuff that guys couldn't . . . As soon as we made it to the tree line (cutting through some backyards and stuff that we shouldn't be), Jared shut his eyes and I did the same - in a few swift movements we'd dumped our school things, shoved our clothes into the bags we looped around our ankles, and were phased and running. The minds of the pack were all present.

Worry. Fear. Apprehension. Anger. Protectiveness. Anger. Anger. Anger.

I winced at the influx of emotions. My mind speak was tentative . . . _Is Paul being a dick again? Please don't tell me I used up my once-a-month excuse to break up a fight between Paul and Quil or Jake again._

Paul snorted in amusement, though the younger wolves recoiled in disgusted understanding.

 ** _Not this time, pup._** Sam's soothing bass, even in our heads. **_This is bad. Come to that meadow where you were attacked, the first time you ever phased._**

I winced a little. The meadow where Edward and I . . .

 ** _UGH PLEASE NO._**

 ** _GET THAT LEECH OUT OF MY FACE._**

 ** _BELLA PLEASE THINK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE._**

 _Oh my God, shut up. Though I AM sorry. But shut up anyways. I have to deal with naked Emily and half-naked Kim and stupid food thoughts and teenage boy bullshit, but you can't deal with the ex that traumatized me to catatonic stupor?_

 ** _That's the most you've ever said about it, Bells._**

 _I know, Jake._

I could feel Quil smiling. **_It means you're almost completely okay. Heh. And it only took a few months._**

 ** _More like ONE month. You've only been with us about that long._**

 _What about my coma?_

 ** _Doesn't count, idiot puppy._**

 _Do I need to kick your ass again, Paul?_

 ** _Do I need to bite yours?_**

 ** _PAUL I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU._**

 ** _Ew. Paul's_** ** _flirting_** ** _with Bella. That's just weird. You're a fucking pedophile._**

 _Aaaand this became awkward. Sam, make them stop._

 ** _All of you idiots shut up._**

Silence. In it, I got flashes of thoughts but nothing concrete - no one was consciously speaking. The same emotions: worry, fear, apprehension, anger. Lots of anger. Flashes of the woods, still and quiet, but also mixed with dread . . .

What the hell was going on?

We don't dread the woods. We're the protectors of the forest; it's what the wolves were made to be. As my own heart started to pound with uneasiness, reflected off my brothers' own nervousness and undertone anger, Sam spoke cautiously:

 ** _You seem to be able to amplify our mind sharing, Bella. (Also, only Bella is allowed to speak again.) Calm. I'd like to talk as you and Jared run towards the rest of us._**

Affirmative from Jared. I yipped my own positive answer, hesitantly; there was something weird going on, but nothing violent. If there was violence, Jared and I'd be over there in a heartbeat; we would never leave our brothers to fight what's-her-sparkly-face alone. But this wasn't the case, so it had to be something else. Some other form of bad news that they were trying (and mostly succeeding) in hiding from me.

 _Amplify the mind sharing?_ I asked, deciding to fish for information.

 ** _When you phase, we can hear each other better; thoughts are sharper, feelings are stronger . . . memories come more easily. But not you. It's a bit harder to read you. You connect us, but can keep our secrets at the same time . . . This ability you have, it is why I want you as Thelta._**

I sighed. Damn him. Alpha, the leader. Beta, the vice-leader. Omega, the outcast. Thelta, the binder. For whatever reason, the original Quilete pack only held these four titles; Alpha and Beta were taken, of course, and Omega hadn't been filled since forever, but Thelta? There was only one, and they were of the second-generation pack, long, loooong before our grandfather's time. I didn't want it, honestly; Thelta. I'm only a Halfie, after all . . . I argued against Sam like that. Shouldn't someone who was truly born to our people take such a high and important position?

But . . . well . . .

 _If it's like that, I guess I understand._

Sam felt relief, and it clouded his nervousness. **_Good. You unite the pack well. Better than me. Loyalty to the Alpha is one thing; loyalty to each other is another. This is a job which belongs to you now, pup._**

 _Stop flattering me. I can't blush in this form._

He laughed. Less rare than before, but Sam didn't laugh every day. **_That said, you are important to the pack, to us. We will protect you and your father with all our power. Have no doubt in our loyalty to you, Bella. Remember you have your brothers beside you, always._**

I immediately grew alarmed. Sadness. Worry. _What? What are you talking about?_

 ** _Don't be alarmed. We thought it best if you saw it with your own eyes._** my Alpha soothed; but he was worried, and I could hear his heartbeat through his own ears. Nervous. Sam was a lot of things, but _nervous?_

 _Sam?_ I asked quietly.

Quiet.

Fear.

Jared and I burst into the meadow, where the rancid smell of blood immediately attacked our noses. It was rotten, dirty iron-rust and sludge; it was decay and maggots and pain . . . both of us whined at the sudden jolt from earth and rain and warmth breath of brother to this . . . this rot. The other five were standing as wolves in the middle of the field, waiting for us; surrounding something on the ground. The earth was upturned, carven into, bleeding. I felt sick; I dreaded to see what it was. They dreaded seeing me come forward, but accepted that I had to. It was something bad, I knew already.

Something frightening.

I approached though, and seeing what my brothers were looking at (hiding it from their minds so I wouldn't see through their eyes), I screamed. It came out as a long, tortured howl from my lips.

 **LITTLE DOGGIE, LITTLE DOGGIE, SHALL WE PLAY A GAME?**

 **LITTLE DOGGIE, LITTLE DOGGIE, SHALL WE GO INSANE?**

 **YOUR MATE TOOK MY JAMES FROM ME, SO I SHALL TAKE YOU -**

 **AND ALSO YOUR FATHER AND DOGGIE-FRIENDS TOO.**

Oh God. Oh frigging God. Spirits of my fucking ancestors. Fucking God and Christ and Spirits.

Victoria was targeting my father.

 _Victoria was targeting my_ ** _pack._**

I loved to run, with six brothers all around me. I loved to howl with them, to roughhouse, to yip and bark and bite and laugh, to feel the forest towering above me and the blood rushing within me and my brothers with me. I loved flying through the woods, hunting something for fun and practice with pack coordination, listening to everyone's simplest thoughts - reading their playfulness, their pain, their concern, their exhausted honor.

But all of that was being threatened by Victoria.

My father. We had recently started becoming close again, with how Emily pushed me to visit him weekly and cook him dinner, ask about his work, watch a game or two with him; Charlie was trying hard, too, and I found his clumsy love for me a mirror of my own for him, my father, my Dad.

My eldest brother, the watcher, the one I loved to make smile - my Alpha would be gone, nothing, and his absence would take Emily's heart with him . . . My little-big brother, my sun, protector and teaser and crutch; gone, like sunlight running from the world. The snarky, sarcastic brother that was most like me, understanding in his coarse, secretly embarrassed way. The mother, the one who always cared and made sure I was at least physically alright, defender and rebuker and smiler. The laughing brother, always poking fun and managing to make things so much brighter, the wild card but constant friend. Quiet brother, soft smiles and gentle teasing and beautiful way of looking at the world, fierce fighter and always ready to race across the woods.

It was only a few months. Barely counting as a 'few'. But my family . . . the Cullens were _nothing_ compared to the way these boys made me feel loved and belonging. Sam with his terse but well-meaning commands, Paul with his acid tongue and playful banter, Jake with his protective gentility, Embry with his laughter, Quil with his constant supporting presence . . . my brothers. My father, my father who had almost lost me on so many occasions and was desperate to know me . . .

If they were gone . . . what would I do?

My boys. My brothers and father. Where would I go, if they were suddenly gone? How could I go to Charlie's funeral, his death an unexplained accident? How would I be able to talk about his life when I was just barely a fixture in it? What about Sam, Jared? How could I face Emily and Kim if their deaths were my fault? Jake's father might understand, but Billy couldn't NOT hate the girl that firstly wouldn't love his son the way he wanted, and secondly got him killed - and would Jake's sisters even be told how he died?

And where was I?

How could I bear to run again, with six empty places at my flanks? How could I even bear to move?

It would be like before. Only worse; and there was so promise of salvation and unconditional love from a father, or respectful affection from an Alpha, or sunny countenances from a russet Beta, or . . . or . . .

 ** _Listen to me, Bella._**

The Alpha's command, laced with stern worry; muffled concern from the others, as they were gagged by Sam's earlier order. Tiredly, I pricked my ears but kept both eyes on the disgusting writing carved into the earth.

 ** _There will be no funerals, no mourning imprints_** (a sense of love and protection for the smiling woman with scars on her face) ** _, and especially no Theltas without a pack. You are pack, and we will protect you - the risk has not changed. Any of us would die for a wolf-brother, or sister. You may all speak, but one at a time._**

Jake screamed out first, bounding to my side and rubbing shoulders with me. **_The fucking leech-ette isn't doing in ANYONE! I'm going to tear her into bite-sized fucking pieces, Bells, and we'll have her for breakfast._**

 ** _You really are an idiot, aren't you?_** Paul asked Jake, also trotting over to me and sitting stoically beside me - all relaxed and indifferent to anything that just happened. ** _I'd go fucking insane if you weren't here, Thelta. We aren't letting her touch you, idiot puppy. You are my sister, however that happened, and if she threatens you, she threatens the pack._**

Quil threw in his two cents, **_We were already at risk; as was Charlie. This is simply the bitch's way of trying to shake you up. She's still scared because of the scene at the hospital._** (memories of confronting a vampire with a sickly smell at Forks' hospital, the earthy flower scent of a sister behind him, vulnerable; pain from broken bones and a shrill voice, the need to defend a weakened pack member with understanding brown eyes) **_She wants to lure you out; copy what her mate did last time. Do not give her the satisfaction._**

 ** _You're the Thelta, Bella. She bites at you, she gets a thrashing from all of us._** Embry said, extremely serious and nuzzling my face with his nose (the wolves' instinctive form of affection), **_Victori-bitch is going down. And you're gonna be there when she does, and you're gonna laugh as she dies._**

The vicious image of the red-haired vampiress burning and shrieking was pushed into my thoughts, with a small brownish-black wolf watching, tongue lolling from her mouth and eyes gleaming with animalistic satisfaction. Also, a black-eared wolf was howling excitedly as the vampire burned.

I had to laugh at Embry's vivid imagination, and feel touched at his absolute conviction in protecting me, the pack, and any Victoria threatened.

Sam snorted, well-pleased with the words of the pack. Jared was nuzzling me, quiet reassurance with no need for words; all his thoughts were pictures. Images of Kim and me, laughing quietly together over something in a book. Images of Kim having such a rare smile, especially since she learned of the danger Jared was in; images of her finally, _finally_ beaming like she used to when Bella invited her over to her and Emily's house . . . the girls' laughter, love for Kim, utter awe-filled, gratefulness for the little sister that not only managed to read the wolves like her books, but the imprints too.

I had to blink away tears. I had never . . . well, delved deep enough into Jared's mind to see how thankful he was for my intervention - with the pack, with his girl. And Sam was the same; he wouldn't let us see (maybe me when we went on patrol together sometime?) because he was the private-est of us . . . but his happiness at seeing Emily so cheerful again, and his relief that the pack wasn't all clashing wolves and butting heads anymore, that he wasn't so strained to keep the boys in line, I could feel.

And I understood why he was adamant about naming me Thelta before I got here. Before I realized what a threat the vicious little vampire _bitch_ was to me, to all of us because of me.

 ** _You are vital to us, pup,_** Sam said as gently as Sam could, **_Whoever and whatever you were to the Cullens, it doesn't matter anymore. You are MY Thelta, Jacob's when he is ready._**

 _If I weren't pack, would you be fighting Victoria for me?_

The thought burst out before I could filter it, stop it even. A collective wince from my brothers.

 ** _If you weren't pack, we would still kill the blood-sucker._** Paul said, **_But not for you. Not that it matters, idiot puppy. You ARE pack, and we WILL kill the leech. And after that, we'll work on your fucking insecurity issues._**

 _I'm not insecure._

 ** _Constantly questioning your place with us is insecurity, Bella._**

 _Thanks, Quil._

Embry huffed out a laugh. **_Don't worry so much, little sister._**

 ** _We will increase patrols._** Sam cut in, putting away the issue for another day. **_Jacob, have Billy get Charlie onto the Reservation more - we can guard him better. Bella, you will constantly be with one of us . . . or with Emily and Kim, as they are protected well already._**

We all straightened at the orders of our Alpha. I pawed at Paul's face, mentally signaling my intent to stick with him the next patrol I had, which was in a day or so. Paul was sarcastic and rude, but he liked playing - the physical touch was something unbenign to him, and I had resolved the first run together that I was going to remedy that.

Jake pushed on my face with his muzzle, reminding me that he would be watching me very carefully now. I was fully aware that Jake hoped he'd imprint on me, and was disappointed that he didn't. But he put my needs before his, of course, and whatever feelings he still had were faded, or hidden well, in lieu of guiding me through this wolf thing. I snapped at his nose, projecting gratefulness.

 _I'm glad . . . that I'm a wolf. I'm . . . I don't think that I was really quite_ ** _happy_** _with, you know, him._

 ** _Thank the spirits._** most of them thought, snorting and rolling their eyes.

Paul stared at me steadily, though. **_What about now?_**

 _You know the answer._

They did. And we ran together, the bloodstained meadow behind us and threat on the horizon. Which was all right. I had my brothers beside me, and I wasn't a weak little girl anymore.

I was the Thelta of Sam's pack.


	6. Hunt

**A/N: AAAAHHHH I'M UPDATING REALLY LATE AGAIN DAMMIT I'M SO SORRY!**

 **Ugh. It's been a hectic week; school's about to get out so the teachers are being super sadistic and piling on projects. Haha . . . anyways! Onto the story notes!**

 **Thanks very much for the reviews! Honestly, it really helps me get inspired. Not only do the review emails remind me to work, but I wanna work 'cuz I've got people eagerly awaiting and such and such! (to be honest, when I used to read, I never understood why authors demanded reviews for chapters, but I can sorta see why, now)**

 **Also . . . OH GOD THIS IS THE LAST FINISHED CHAPTER I GOT BOYS. From here on out, the updates're gonna be a little sporadic. Hopefully with summer vacation coming I'll keep it to at least a chapter every 2 weeks, but no promises! Sorry about that, but I've been shifting my interests around.**

 **Thanks for checking me out, and enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

The barbecue was burning.

"DAD!" I shouted, panicked and pointing frantically.

Charlie yelped an expletive that had me flabbergasted and Jake, Embry, and Quil rolling in laughter. He put out the flaming shish-kebob with a good stomp into the dirt, then turned to smile sheepishly at me.

I rolled my eyes. "Are you gonna be the one to explain to Billy that we lost another, or should I?"

Even from here, I caught the small, amused smirks on Paul and Sam's faces; Jared was outright grinning with a shyly beaming Kim on his arm; Emily was still inside our house, cooking the non barbecue stuff and entertaining a bored Paul (he hated the imprint shit, which was probably why he was such an ass to Kim - not Emily though, since she made all our food). Billy was in there too, apparently.

Surprise barbecue visits. Loved them.

"Maybe I should leave this to you?" my dad asked, in the process of pushing the tongs in my hands.

I grinned (which was very different from smiling, now that my teeth were a bit more canine). "Lemme at it, Dad. God knows _these_ idiots can't do it."

Jake shoved me to the grill playfully, which I withstood well and with another grin. Dad wandered inside to hang around with Billy, maybe make small talk with Emily. He was kind to her and barely even noticed the scars - something that greatly endeared him to my Alpha, I should think.

"D'you think he's okay with it all?" Jake asked, elbowing me; he was smiling, but I could tell he was worried - there was a certain tightness in his eyes and the slant in his smile.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jake." I said lightly, raising a brow. "Thelta, remember? If I leave, you devolve into bickering monkeys."

Jake shoved my shoulder again (something he wouldn't have dared before I phased), laughing. He and Embry skulked off somewhere, Jared was still speaking softly and tenderly to Kim, and I was left with Quil. Who, I had to point out, was fiddling with a dog-eared book that I lent to him a week earlier.

"Liking the mastermind of Barker?"

"This fucking third book is shit."

I laughed. "Yeah, I warned you."

Quil pouted (as much as he could, since Quil seemed to have a permanent stony face, inherited from Old Quil). "I thought you were over-exaggerating. The first two books were amazing."

"Sorry, brother. Outta luck. Oh hey- FOOD'S READY KIDDIES!"

A rush of huge freakin wolf-boys. Jacob and Embry snapped at each other over everything, grinning madly and sending winks at me; Quil sneakily stole barbecue off their plates while they were arguing. Jared and Sam shoved the babies out of the way to grab plates for their imprints (waiting patiently, like the angels they are), Paul grabbing whatever he wanted and chucking things at me - trying to be helpful but just smothering my damn hands and face with sauce and whatever.

Charlie and Billy got their food via the nicest wolf-girl there, and I even sat down with them to watch Emily's new cable.

"So . . . thoughts?" I asked.

Charlie smiled genuinely. "You're doing good. Though . . . uh, I dunno why all the boys 'round here go shirtless. Not something I have to worry about, right?"

I laughed. Imagine, one of my brothers going after _me?_ Firstly, I'd know a mile away; secondly, I could kick their ass. Whoever it was. After running together, getting in each other's heads so often, we were all more sibling-esque than anything.

"Dad, I'm fine." I chuckled, "I'm _happy._ Happiest I've ever been, actually."

Charlie beamed, his eyes all crinkly - the kind of smile where I understood why Mom married him initially. "Yeah, Bells." he said, "I can tell."

I guess he could. My skin wasn't near-vampiric, my stature was more muscular and tall, my face was always smiling or my head was always cocked to one side to listen to a howl or anything else; I liked _moving_ now, running or fiddling with things, playing with the boys, cooking with Emily, making up games with Kim. I rarely thought about . . . him. About Edward.

And if I did, my brothers would make me laugh.

"I'm doing good, Dad. Everyone seems really okay with me being in the community now. Sure, at first they were a bit mad about a halfie being welcomed out of nowhere, but the guys defended me."

"Knights in . . . no armor?" he asked, eyebrow raised.

I grinned. "Sure, Dad."

He softened his eyes again, looking at me all awe-filled. "You smile so much more now, Bells. Even with that . . . _boy_ , you never smiled this much."

"I loved Edward, but I think I gotta love my stupid brothers more now. They'll bully me endlessly if I don't."

"You can say his name." A surprised statement, not a question.

Smiling, I nodded again. "Yeah. I can. And it only took a year, huh?"

Charlie chuckled a bit. "A year, a bear attack, and a coma."

 _Turning into a huge wolf, learning how to swear, becoming pack binder, turning Paul into a puppy, and moving in with Emily. Those things, too._ I thought. The swearing thing was to get me to let out more emotions - which worked, and let me properly cuss the shit out of Edward Cullen.

"I better monitor the infants. Eat up, 'kay, Dad?"

"You did good, Bells."

Waving, I walked back out and was instantly accosted by Paul and his monster noogies. He never went easy, locking my neck in a headlock and ruffling the hell out of my poor hair, smirking all the while - me whining and laughing and struggling.

"UGH GET OFF, PAUL!"

"Apologize, idiot puppy."

"FOR WHAT?"

"Infants."

"YOU _ARE_ AN INFANT, FUCKFACE! Embry- HELP!"

Embry suddenly - and laughingly - slammed into Paul's side, knocking him to the ground and allowing me to slip out of his chokehold and behind a quietly giggling Kim. They rolled around on the ground, Jake deciding to tag Embry out after a bit, while I muttered unflattering commentary to Kim to make her laugh a bit more. She was a sweet girl, very shy and very embarrassed around the boys.

"Lookit Paul, such an idiot, can't even dodge a little swipe-"

"I HEAR YOU, SWAN!"

"- _and_ he thinks I care, what a dumb- AAAHH JARED NO KIM STOP HIM-"

Jared, grinning and playful, runs at me and picks me up by the waist, my body splayed out across his shoulder, and starts _spinning._ I kick and squirm and complain, finally elbowing a soft spot on the shoulder-ish area; he loosened his grip, letting me pull myself out and flip a landing, scrambling away. Jared tried to grab me, but I dodged and tackled his abdomen, flooring him easily and joining then mess of everyone else but the imprints and a broadly smiling Sam.

At one point, I got out of the fray and collapsed near Sam and Emily's feet.

I grinned up at him. "Hey, Alpha."

"Hello, Thelta."

"Hi, Em."

"Hello, Bella. Having fun?"

"You bet. Never thought I'd be rolling around in the mud with a bunch of idiot mutts after the shiny asshole dumped me."

A nickname stolen from Paul. Which was adopted by Jake and Embry, and it just caught on after that.

Sam's eyes gleamed with amusement. "Never thought I'd be running with a girl - a white one at that. Especially the white girl Jacob was thinking about every patrol." he replied, glancing at the deflating fight-play.

I blinked. "He doesn't still, does he?"

"Sometimes, when you're quiet and not paying attention; or when you're not there. Jacob loves you very much."

Blushing, I glanced at the others; they were busy, and Jake and Quil and Embry were even heading inside. Jared returned to Kim with Paul, scratched and bruised, in tow. I turned back to Sam, glaring. "He wouldn't want me to know. He'a trying to get me to fit in with the pack, not feel uncomfortable in it."

"Like he was?"

"Yeah."

Sam laughed. A little. "You're my Thelta for a reason, pup."

I grumbled. "I'm not a pup. I'm higher ranked than Paul, dammit."

He shrugged, giving me a hand up and walking with me back to the house where it seemed everyone was - and it had gotten quiet in there, too. "Victori-bit- the redhead hasn't moved in a while. It makes me nervous."

Sam only talked about this stuff with me. Because even though I could see into everyone's heads and their mind-sharing was amplified . . . well, I could hide my head better. I had to concentrate or feel a lot of emotion to convey things to my pack. I kept secrets well; like I was born to be Thelta. Something the entire pack tried to convince me of, though we kept off the real conversation until Victori-bitch was taken care of.

"She'll hit either you guys or Charlie's house; all of you are here." I reasoned.

"She could get the house."

"Charlie would sleep with a shotgun under his pillow, then. Safer."

Sam cracked a smile. "Nonchalantly talking about the police chief shooting a shotgun point blank at a vampire. I rather enjoy that image, Thelta."

"I thought you might, Alpha- what's goin-?"

"SHHHH!"

Charlie was pacing in the front porch, door open and screen closed. Billy looked grim, sitting next to a frowning Jake. Embry was fiddling with his hands, Quil reading with glazed and worried eyes, Emily chewing her lip. Paul was twitchy, like the rest of them. Sam instantly quieted, and we all listened with our enhanced hearing.

"-house? And no one saw? Joanne, please- It's my house, I think I get to know! No, no, I'm here with Bella at her house . . . Do you need me to come in? My daughter doesn't make time for me every day, Joanne. I . . . alright, I'll be there."

 _Click_.

Charlied came back in, looking tired and frustrated; he looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry, kiddo, but I've gotta go. Our house- my house was broken into, nothing taken. I need to come in, organize the boys, set things straight."

Sam and I glanced at each other.

I nodded at my dad. "I'll come. Check out the house with you. Might be able to help, it was my house for a while, too. Plus I visit every week, right?"

 _Nice thinking, Bells._ everyone thought, by the smirks on their faces. Paul stepped up, though. "Let me come. For the idiot puppy, here." he said, nudging me and getting me to smile a little with his own cocky grin.

Charlie nodded, probably connecting my newfound cheerfulness with the boys. He wanted a little emotional security for me; I really only wanted actual security, just in case the bitch was waiting. With that, we rushed to Charlie's cruiser and piled in, quietly waiting during the drive.

When we arrived, my old house was surrounded by cruisers. It was a surreal sight.

"Let's get in there and sniff the bitch out." Paul muttered.

I nodded, following Charlie into the house where the sickly sweet smell hit me hard. I reeled, leaning against Paul for stability. The memories rushed by: bright forest, shining dew, pale skin, red eyes, fanged smile, rushing leaves, pained flank, brightest blood, mocking laughter, heaving side, ripped chest, panicked brothers, howling pack . . . I shuddered, and Paul steadied me. Charlie was already being briefed in the living room by the time I snapped out of it, with Paul's warm hand on my shoulder.

"You okay, idiot puppy?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Paul."

He gave me a small, crinkle-eyed smile, and then walked off upstairs to sniff Victoria out. I stood next to my dad, looking on with concern as the younger officer - Joe? John? Joshua? - was speaking to him:

"-can't find them. Might be in the woods, Chief, but we won't start the search unless you want us to." he finished, dull blue eyes looking bored to tears with the aspect already.

Charlie saw it, too. "No need. Might've been some kids, daring to break into an officer's house. Damn teenagers- not you, Bells, you're a pretty good kid, even with the boys."

I smiled. "Thanks, Dad. Me and Paul are gonna look around the back. See if there's any graffiti or whatever. That okay?"

He nodded. "Stick with Paul, y'hear?"

"I will. Paul! Outside!"

A muffled affirmative.

I walked out, trudging a bit into the forest, following my nose. Sickly bleachy scent . . . northwest. Uphill. A bit out, and I stripped, shoved the clothes into my little bag, tied it around my ankle, and jumped to phase. My "better skin" as Paul put it, came out as easily as ever, dark brown with black shoulders, paws, and a strip down my spine to my tail, black nails, brown eyes, small but larger than any normal wolves- I ran up the hill, lungs heaving pleasantly and tongue lolling to taste the sickly sweet air.

A moment later, a huge dark grey wolf was loping beside me; matching me stride for stride. I bumped shoulders with him, nudging him playfully, he snapped at me and I grinned at him.

 _Hi, Paul. Ready for the hunt?_

 ** _Tracking only, idiot puppy. Two's mot good enough for a vamp killing._**

 _Yeah, I know. The pack hunts together._

 ** _Always, puppy. She's close._**

 _Waiting for us?_

 ** _Maybe._**

A scent. Stronger. It had me slowing down, cautious. _I don't think we should . . . this isn't our territory. Other side of the border. She's had forever to map out this place - there's only two of us, and who knows how many vamps? I'm smelling more than just her._

 ** _That's true. Stop, let's warn the others. It's too fresh and too far._**

 _'Kay._

We skidded to a stop, and I snorted out excess moisture in my nose. I had to be able to smell. Paul sat on his haunches, tilting his head to the sky while I paced around him, sniffing at the foreign vampire smells mixed with earth and animal lightly. The scents were too strong, about . . . three? No, five. Five different vamp smells, four unknown, one belonging to the Victori-bitch herself.

Paul howled long and loud, the sound bound to be heard by our brothers in the Rez.

 ** _Yo yo yo what's up?_**

 ** _Fuck you, Embry. Get over here._**

 _Five vamps. Victori-bitch and others I don't know. Fainter than her's._

 ** _Oh shit. Lemme get them. We were waiting for a phone call, nerds._**

 ** _Grab a knife and stab yourself with it while you're at it, shitface._**

 ** _Love you too, Paulie-boo._**

 ** _YOU-_**

Embry left briefly. Paul snarled, pawing at the ground irritatedly. I growled at the scents killing my nose. _Victori-bitch is kinda . . . tangy, like, alcohol. The others are . . . fabric-ish, like cotton or something, and one that's a bit . . . perfume-like. Feminine, like Victori-bitch's. Other two are . . . holy shit, there's SIX!_

 ** _Six vamps in Forks?_**

 ** _You're right, Thelta. Sam - six vamps, fiver strangers and Victori-bitch._**

 ** _This is fucking bad._**

 ** _Thanks, Captain Obvious. No, seriously, fuck off Embry._**

 _Paul,_ I growled, _Be nice. Three females including Victori-bitch and three males. Her alcohol scent, cotton, perfume . . . uh, something leathery, one that's kinda citrus-ish, and something . . . vanilla? But, like, strong._

 ** _Six leeches? SIX?_**

 ** _Paul, keep her safe - we're coming._**

 _The scents are stronger over here. Yep, definitely three males._

 ** _You're getting better, idiot puppy._**

 ** _Ex-Beta and new Thelta, don't get killed now. Head back or something, gross big brother and cute little sister. Quil agrees, right?_**

 ** _Yes._**

 ** _PAUL!_**

 ** _What?_**

 _The birds have stopped singing._

 ** _Paul, go back to Charlie's. Take-_**

 _They don't stop singing when we're wolves. They love us. We're the ancestral protectors. And the insects don't just go still . . ._

 ** _Whoa, whoa, whoa. Pup. Don't wander away from Paul._**

 ** _Paul, head back to us._**

 ** _Circle 'round, circle 'round, we're comin._**

 ** _Paul, keep her safe, dammit-_**

 ** _Thelta 'o mine, keep with our furry fuckhead please-_**

 _This is weird, this is weird guys, why- PAUL HELP-!_

 ** _FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKBELLANONONONONO-_**

Pain. Pain pain pain pain pain again again again. I screamed, barely dodging a swipe from white, rigid fingers. Blood spurted out of my left shoulder, and I backed away, whining and yelping; all thoughts were shoved into the background, and only the pain came by. I snarled at the blurry figure, faster than most vamps my brothers told me about, and managed to dodge another zigzag blow. The third, even more erratic than the first, ripped my right flank and I howled in pain - it was deep. I wasn't experienced enough to know how to predict the vamp, never still and just a pale blaze barreling around with hostility dripping off his screaming voice.

When Paul leapt in front of me, growling with his ears flattened and anger radiating in our minds, I felt huge relief and cowered behind him, licking my wounds free of fur and urging them to heal - the other five were out there, Victori-bitch included, and I wanted to at least have his back. The vamp didn't still, just kept rocketing through us, trying to get to me especially.

The pack was in chaos.

Outrage, Anger. **_THIS FUCKING LEECH-_**

 ** _Pup, hold on, watch Paul's back, we're coming._** Panic, protectiveness.

 ** _Thelta, watch your six - Victori-bitch is out there!_** Encouragement, energy.

Worry, frustration. **_Not again, not again, not again-_**

Observance, advisory. **_Don't show weakness, Thelta. Stay strong._**

Fury.

 ** _MINELOVEMINEMINEPACKPROTECTBELLALOVEFRIENDTOGETHERPACK-_**

Paul. Sam. Embry. Jared. Quil. Jacob.

I snarled out defiance, standing my ground and dodging another swipe from this fast blood-sucking bastard. Paul projected pride and worry, and we stood back to back as four other vampires' scents and steps were smelled and heard. The pack was howling, trying to force them away with pure intimidation - promises of retribution, promises of greater numbers and better coordination. The four were approaching this lightning quick fifth, us, and Paul and I steeled ourselves for a fight.

 ** _Fuck you leech. You want a fight? Bella and I'll rip your FUCKING dead guts out._**

 _No need to be so graphic, Paul._

 ** _Shut up, idiot puppy._**

And then the four were here.

And then they zeroed in on the fifth, who had suddenly gone stone-still. In that split second of perfect, silent quiet, I realized something. He was the vanilla scent vampire, the fastest and lightest. He had black eyes and bronze hair, messed up, looking more disheveled than I'd ever seen him - and even then, he was beautiful. He was staring at me in horror, but also some sort of glazed understanding. My blood was staining his white dress shirt, his pale hands that were made for the piano.

The other four where Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett. They grabbed him to still him, prevent him from attacking, only a bit after he himself stilled. The moment I realized who he was, my pack did too. And while the world erupted into furious brothers, snarling wolves, godlike men and women with sickly scents, he and I locked eyes and wondered what the hell happened in the last year.

* * *

 **A/N 2: OHOHOHOHOHOHO I PROMISED IT WAS COMING DIDN'T I? Honestly, this fic is just writing itself, so nothing is planned that much. I'm trying to make time for Seth and Leah but the Cullens wanted to show themselves first, which is super early and NOT CANON AT ALL (sorry), but here it is.**

 **Reviews, please? Just so I know what you people wanna see. How am I doing, anyways? Good fic?**


	7. Un-Confrontation

**A/N: Lemme tell you, writing this chapter was like pulling teeth. Not one draft, not _two_ drafts, but a whole SIX. That's right, I wrote six drafts for this chapter.**

 **Ranting aside, I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SEVEN MILLION YEARS. People've been asking if I'm even still doing this, and I assure you all: yes, I am. I hate reading fics that are discontinued, and I hate it even more if they're discontinued _without any warning_. I promise I'll release a big Author's Note _IF_ I stop.**

 **Apology and information done with, thank you all for the support. It means a lot, really. All you followers and favoriters, you're all the best!**

 **ALSO~! I'm really unsure of this chapter. You can tell by the 5 other drafts locked in my computer's trash files. Did I kill the hype? I'm shit at cliffhangers, so . . . let me know, pls?**

 **God, this is a long A/N. Onto the story!**

* * *

Edward Cullen broke free of his siblings quickly enough; they must've been surprised when he stilled himself suddenly, because their marble grips loosened and suddenly he was right in front of me, snarl twisting his beautiful features-

 ** _BASTARD! Touch my Thelta again, you fuck, I'll-_**

 _PAUL DON'T-_

 ** _FUCK HIM UP PAUL_**

 ** _-BELLABELLABELLANONONONO_**

 _Paul, wait, don't hurt him they'll get pissed off and-_

 ** _-ou alright? Are you hurt? Bella-_**

 ** _(FRUSTRATION) Why aren't I faster? Need to get to packmatefriendsisterbrother-_**

 ** _DON'T TOUCH MY SISTER, YOU SHINY BASTARD!_**

Paul lunged at Edward's throat, Edward dodged gracefully and Paul twisted back around to put himself between us. The vampire was reaching at me with all his demented elegance, trying his best to get me — _why me?_ — and my brothers were screaming in my head and covering my own voice up.

 _PAUL STOP!_

Alice covered for Edward just as Paul was about to snap his neck, dragging her brother away from us; Emmett strode forward to shield them and Jasper did the same. Paul growled, a crimson haze tinging his mind and making him angry and hostile, and attacked the retreating ( _Why? Why are they retreating? Why aren't they attacking?)_ coven. Rosalie threw him off Emmett, and I snarled, feeling my fur bristle with protective indignation but managing to set off the pain in my wounds — I had to hand it to Edward, when he attacked, he made sure the injuries were _deep_ -

 ** _-KILL YOU!_**

 ** _PAUL FOCUS ON DEFENSE!_**

 _Stop, they're not trying to fight! Can't you see-_

 ** _Rip them to shreds!_**

 ** _Save me some, Paul!_**

 _WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP?_

No such luck. I was the Thelta, after all — my thoughts and emotions were hidden more than anyone's, and theirs were louder and out in the open. I was a catalyst of empathy, excluding my own mind. They couldn't hear me above Paul's bloodlust, Jacob's fury, Sam's calculating coldness, the rest's anger and protectiveness and eagerness to **_tearshredripriprip-_**

Paul snapped at Edward (who was taking advantage of the passive defense his siblings were performing), but the limb my brother was about to clamp down on suddenly disappeared. Yelling and such — I couldn't hear properly, with the pain in my shoulder and flank and the voices of my brothers in my head — and again, Edward Cullen was restrained by his siblings; Emmett, the leathery-scented one, had his arms gripped behind him, Rosalie and Alice standing in front of him, facing _us —_ the obvious threat that apparently they didn't want their brother to attack — and Jasper, _finally_ , using his power to forcefully shove tranquility into the heads of everyone present.

Silence.

Stillness.

(I wouldn't say peace, because honestly, it wasn't that.)

Paul was too exhausted to resist the empath's power, and I was injured, and the only aggressive vampire present was held down. An anticlimactic ending, but if it was 4 powerful vampires vs. 1 idiot bastard vs. 2 confused puppies, I suppose it would be.

Edward sagged forward as if fatigued, and Paul managed to cool his head enough to back away and keep a bleeding sister-wolf as far from the leeches as possible. His thoughts were sluggish and worrying:

 ** _Alright back there, idiot puppy?_**

 _Yeah. I'm healing up quickly. The others are going crazy, though. I think._

 **Why can't I hear them? And why aren't I pissed off? I think I should be.**

 _The first? I think that's me. I think I've made our clusterfuck pack mind a two-way call somehow._ No fuckin' clue how that happened, but I was pretty focused on Paul and not on the unceasing screaming the pack was doing mentally — focused enough that I just kinda blocked them out, I guess. (We really had to research what the hell was with me, the way I had these abilities that just _screamed_ "Thelta") _The second? Jasper. I've told you about his power before — he's trying to talk to us, by the way, so . . ._

Paying attention to actual reality, Jasper had stepped forward cautiously to speak.

"-listenin', right? Ah, _now_ you are. Alright, then, my name is Jasper Hale; behind me, my brother Emmett is restraining our oldest brother, Edward, and my mate, Alice, stands with Emmett's mate, Rosalie. We mean no harm. You're the shifters, right? Alice and I weren't part of the coven when the treaty first formed, but I'm th'only leader right now, what with Carslile and Esme gone."

I narrowed my eyes at that. Why were the only logical-thinking vampires NOT HERE?

 ** _-LY SHIT WHAT IS GOING ON?!_**

Oops. Back to the clustered pack-mind again. (Fuck my powers, what a pain in the ass.) Paul and I winced in unison at the mental barrage of worried screaming and infuriated howls for vengeance.

 _You guys are loud._ I said irritatedly, growling along with Paul when Jasper said something and tried to step forward; the empath promptly returned to standing a good way away from us, hands up to pacify us — as if we were animals or something.

 ** _Bella. What's going on?_**

I glanced at Paul, both of us seeing our Alpha's mind — they were still pretty far. Not far enough that we were in danger of dying if a fight broke out, but far. Jake was pushing on ahead, though his dizzyingly fast pace had slowed down some as he registered the fact that we were both fine . . . and that I was healing. Paul snorted, and let his memories wash over the pack-mind: the sudden attack by one Edward Cullen (growling ensued as I provided my own memories), the appearance of the rest of the coven to hold him back, the information Jasper gave to us.

Quil whined. **_Are you okay, Bella?_**

I snorted. _As if I'd let the sparkly bastard hurt me anymore. I've tripped over pillows sharper than his claws._

Embry laughed. **_That's my sister for ya!_**

Sam snarled at the lightheartedness. **_I am glad you're well, Thelta, but you need to speak to the leeches. Why are they back? Why did the . . . bloodsucking bastard (ANGER RAGE DISGUST) . . . attack you? Why did the others stop him? And why, for the love of Spirits, shouldn't the pack rip them into shining pieces and tell stories over the resulting bonfire tonight?_**

Uh-oh. Sam was pissed.

Really, really, _really_ ** _pissed._**

 _Should I ask, or should you?_ I directed at Paul.

 ** _I'd kinda like to see their faces when you phase back, idiot puppy._** Paul replied, the grin on his face snarky as all nine circles of hell. I felt a bit of his own sadistic pleasure leak across the pack-mind, and I chuckled. **_But,_** he interjected with a heavy sigh, **_I ain't puttin' you in danger like that._**

Paul turned to the vampires, now clustered together tightly, ready to phase when-

"She lied." he croaked.

 ** _Fucking Edward Cullen._** someone — I think Jared — snarled in response.

Alice, still petite and pixie-like, glared at him, "Of _course_ Victoria lied, Edward. You've been hunting her because she wants us DEAD. You think suddenly she'll turn around and tell us the truth?"

"What d'you mean, Ed?" asked Emmett almost gently.

Rosalie was wrinkling her nose at us.

Jacob growled at her show of aggression. **_Barbie bitch. Care to have your pretty hair torn out with my teeth?_**

 ** _Would you assholes shut up? We're trying to get info before you useless bitches get here._** Paul muttered, ears perked forward and trying to understand why the fuck everything happened.

"They didn't KILL Bella. That IS Bella. The small one . . ."

 _Kill me? Who the fuck said I was dead?_ I complained, getting an evil eye from Paul.

Sam snarled. **_I'm starting to get it. Don't phase, either of you. Depending on how this goes, we might have a bonfire tonight. If they're saying what I think they're saying._**

 ** _I have dibs on the motherfucker._** Jake replied.

 ** _Which one?_** quipped a carefree, but still vicious, Embry.

A howl in the not-so-far distance. Jared. He was worried immensely, ignoring the dark banter in favor of warning the vampires that if they tried to touch another hair on our heads, the pack would rip them to shreds.

Edward quieted instantly. Alice looked nervous, and she looked over at me. "B . . . Bella?" she asked hesitantly.

My ears twitched at my name. That was all it took, and Alice sagged in defeat.

"What? HOW?" Emmett asked, dumbfounded and looking from Edward to me to Paul, growling threateningly, and back again. " _That's_ Bella? But Bella's _TINY!_ That thing's a fucking _BEAR!"_

 _Gee, thanks, Emmett._

 ** _What I wanna know is why the motherfucker isn't reading Paul's mind. You said he can't read your mind, Bells, but Paul should be fine, right? They could've found out who you were from just that . . ._** Jake seemed to finally be calming down, now that it was obvious (posture, emotions, facial expressions) that the vampires weren't gonna fight us, or at least, attack _me._

Paul pawed at the ground impatiently. **_Are you guys here yet? They're in their own little fucking world, but they'll be demanding answers or some shit soon. I wanna phase and punch the sparkly bastard in the face._**

 ** _Why don't you just chomp on his arm or something?_**

 ** _'Cuz it's more satisfying to punch a bitch in the face._**

 _It's me._

 ** _Yes, you're Bella. Hello, Bella._**

 _Fuck off, Embry! It's ME. I'M why Edward can't read Paul's mind — whatever makes it so that he can't read my mind, it carries over into the pack-mind. He won't be able to read us as long as I'm phased._

Understanding dawned on my brothers as I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Their thoughts flitted across the pack-mind rapidly: Sam agreed with my own desire to experiment with my strange gifts, and research the role of Thelta and what ancestor I'd sprung up from; Paul was wondering how we could use them against them if they started to fight, simultaneously also _aching_ to fight because he was pissed — always pissed; Jared and Quil were mostly worried about Paul and I being alone still, tying to focus on getting here faster before (probably) Paul fucked up and started a fight; Embry was making a joke because he could feel his Thelta's and Alpha's nervousness at the revelation; and Jake was trying to push comforting thoughts and encouragement to me while also snarling at Paul because I'd gotten injured on his watch.

Fucking mess, the pack-mind.

 ** _Bella, try to make that . . . two-way call again. With me._**

I obeyed my Alpha (despite the absence of an actual order, because he was my big brother and everyone was a lot more trusting of each other when the Thelta was). The sounds and thoughts and points of view of the others faded away as I concentrated on Sam's presence; I tuned out Embry's brightness, Quil's soft concern, Paul and Jared's ferocious protectiveness, Jake's overwhelming love . . .

 _It worked. I can't hear them._

 ** _Good. What I'm about to suggest would've pissed Jacob off-_**

 _Oh fuck. You want me to phase?_

 ** _To leave, and phase. Charlie's home is close. I need to speak to the leeches, to the mindreader (ANGER DISGUST RELUCTANCE), but I can't while you're here. Don't fight me on this, pup . . . the other option is to phase and negotiate human, but tensions are high already-_**

 _He's already all emotional 'cuz of me, right?_ my thoughts sounded petulant and sullen, but Sam knew that I understood. He needed answers from the Cullens, but he couldn't do it human — too dangerous, if negotiations broke down. Therefore, I had to leave — I was blocking communication, and I didn't know how to not do that. Besides . . . I wasn't really okay with my fucking ex-boyfriend (the one that pushed me to the brink of idiotic insanity) having attacked me right then.

Sam regretted that he had to force me out, but pressed the _need_ into the mind-speak.

 ** _I am sorry, pup._**

My own emotions circled each other, snapping into the mind-speak. Anger. Outrage. Sadness. Protectiveness. Why couldn't I stay with my brothers? What if they needed me? I wanted to stay with them. Help them. But . . . a new emotion took over, quietly and without opposition: Understanding. I knew why I couldn't.

 _You know I don't really hate that nickname?_

 ** _I know. We all feel your happiness when we give you nicknames._**

 _Oh shit, really? Fuck! That means Paul knows I don't mind being called "idiot puppy"?_

 ** _(amusement) I'm afraid so. Go on, pup- I'll explain to the others as soon as you phase. Do what you have to do to get a ride back to La Push, tell Charlie that Paul's being an idiot. We'll meet at your and Emily's (love protection love lovelove) later._**

 _I'll cook a feast, then. Try not to tear off any limbs without me?_

 ** _Go. We're almost here._**

Without further ado, I nudged Paul's shoulder with my snout gently; telling him to stay here. His dark eyes flickered with irritation and confusion — something I strangely couldn't feel, with how we were usually in each other's minds — but he didn't so much as twitch as I turned and started loping downhill, towards my old house. The forest was silent, eerily so, with all the animals having retreated in the presence of the Cold Ones, but the further I ran the brighter everything grew; soon the land was singing, and I was hearing the familiar sounds of human footfalls and smelling Charlie's cheap coffee.

He must've gotten bored.

My brothers got bored easily, too.

 _Don't focus on them. There's no danger. They'll be fine. They're my brothers. Don't focus on them. Just smile and wait and trust and go._ my mind repeated as I phased, pulling on a tank top and shorts and slinging the bag over my shoulders. It would cover most of the angry, scabbing marks on my shoulder blade; the shorts and shirt had my flank hidden, even if the cheap material rubbed against the wound wrong.

 _They'll be fine. Whatever happened, it's over — no more bloodshed or stupid injuries. As anticlimactic as it was, it would mean they're safe._

"Dad! Hey! I'm back!" I called, grinning as I entered the kitchen.

Something in the back of my mind nagged at me to go back and be with my brothers, but that was the usual. My wolf (or pack instincts, as Sam called it) seemed to always worry about the others, constantly needing to have a brother in my mind-space or their laughter in my ears. I shushed it and was greeted with an irritated police chief slumped over the table with a mug of coffee, who straightened at the sight of me and smiled.

"Bells! Where's Paul?"

I shrugged. "Forest, still. The dumbass is _playing around_ , if you can believe it."

Charlie raised a brow, looking incredulous. "Playing around?"

I sat down across from my father, in the same spot that I usually took. "Playing investigator. There's nothing out there, but he _insists_ that this one tree looked suspicious and is probably walking around looking at interesting patterns in the bark."

Paul would be so pissed that I made him out to be a loony to Charlie.

Charlie chuckled. "Wouldn't expect that of him."

"Embry and him had a Sherlock Holmes binge. Blame Embry. Maybe Quil." I clarified; that much was true, but Paul was _that dick_ who would figure out all the plot twists and announce them to the room loudly. Needless to say, Quil kicked his ass after the first couple times. It was hilarious to watch their memories later.

"Hey, Dad?"

"Yes, Bells?"

"Can I get a ride back home?"

He raised a brow, glancing at the backdoor. "Even if he's being . . . silly . . . Paul will catch a cold in nothing but shorts out there. Especially if you're forcing him to walk back to La Push." My father was part amused, part concerned.

I made a small part of me happy that he was so accepting of my brothers, but another part suddenly flaring with worry and _need_ to return to the woods, to the pack — _(protect love love familymine mine worryconcernlove)_ — but I shoved the instincts down. I had to trust in my Alpha that he'd handle it and get everyone home uninjured. And give a vampire a few smacks because these cuts STUNG.

"I promise I'll come back for him when he calls, in my own car. But, see, Emily texted me — in the woods — and begged for help with lunch. Sam's bringing the guys, and you know how they eat . . ."

Charlie snorted. "Like black holes that've been starved for months? Yeah. Alright, but if you're busy, I don't mind coming back and getting that kid. He's practically family."

Warmth in my chest. I smiled. "Yeah. They all are."

 _Family that didn't leave me like THEY did . . ._ With those words, a sudden cold washed over that warmth, and I — for once — cursed my darker complexion when Charlie obviously noticed the fact that I went paper-white. He looked at me in concern, brows all scrunched together (something I didn't like, I didn't like worrying him, not after all that I'd put my father through).

"Dad?" I asked, voice quiet.

He waited for me to speak. _He was always waiting._

"What would you do if . . . they, uh, the . . . if the Cullens were back?"

I watched with bated breath as Charlie's concerned face was stiffened into something politely blank, and then shuddered as his eyes took on an almost _feral_ look (it was wolfish, really, and wasn't that a strange thing to see . . .), and I saw into the temperament that made my father a Police Chief. There was a rather frightening look on his face that would've sent old-me cowering; thank goodness my brothers were the _real_ damn wolves and I was used to looking at their stupid, snarling faces all the time.

Charlie gave me a tight smile. "I'd tell you that the shotgun is under my dresser, and the lock code is 239. And that you're free to take it, since I have another one. And that if Emily wants lessons, she can go ahead and ask me."

I had a sudden vision of Emily and my dad sitting on my front porch sipping her homemade lemonade, laughing and chatting quietly as they usually did. Then a sleek Volvo would pull up, a pale-faced sparkly bastard stepping out, and my father and roommate-sister would grin at each other and take out matching shotguns.

Needless to say, it sent me to fits of hysterical laughter — and I was impatient for my brothers to finish up whatever violent and vulgarity-filled negotiations so they could see this conversation themselves.

I didn't know why the bastard was back, but he sure as well wasn't gonna get close to me — these two injuries would be the last.

Hopefully.

* * *

 **A/N 2: I couldn't resist another Author's Note. I felt that the one up top was getting too much, so here's another for any of you that don't actually just skip the A/N. Right here, this is a list of things I forgot or edited out of the above Author's Note . . .**

 **1) I don't own Twilight in case anyone's forgotten,**

 **2) If anyone's willing to be a Beta reader that'd be fantastic - I'm thinking I might need one,**

 **3) Tell me what you think about the fic! Review~**

 **4)** **WHO SHOULD I PAIR WITH BELLA? I've gotten 'Leah' a bit when I asked? Someone asked for Paul. Should I even pair Bella with anyone?**

 **5) Thanks again for being patient with a novice writer! I'll try to update more, but I'm going to be branching out to explore other fandoms for inspiration and such. Don't be surprised (if you're following me) when I post other shit.**


	8. AUTHOR'S NOTE please read first

**A/N: Okay. Okay, so I realize that I said it was a big "IF" when I referred to dropping this or continuing. Here's the confirmation, boys: I'm discontinuing this. I just... cannot. Reasons are below, to those who care, but if you're too pissed off to do so, I understand. The rest of the text is what I managed to ekk out for Chapter 8 before I lost inspiration for this story and my writing style changed too much.**

 **As for the why's: To be perfectly frank, I don't really like the Twilight series that much anymore. I read it when I was 12, which was a hell of a long time ago. I don't have it in me to write fanfic for it anymore. Plus, I tend really dislike first person POV fics and it's difficult to write this fic b/c of that. Additionally, my writings style has changed a LOT. Going to college will do that to you.**

 **ADOPTION NOTICE! If any of you want to adopt or rewrite or continue this, I am happy to allow it. Please just PM and let me know, because I have a lot of notes and drafts for this that I never used and maybe you'd like to. Including a conversation between Bella and Leah that was going to happen much earlier and never did. All I ask is that you give credit to me and let me know when you post so I can follow you! I support all y'all writers out there!**

 **With that, this is the little bit of Chapter 8 I had done. Thank you all so, SO much for following and favoriting thus far, and I can only say I'm so very sorry that I had to let you all down.**

* * *

Isabella Swan was dead.

She died when a boy with the face of an angel and the mind of a century swept her off her feet and brought her close to heaven. Only close, of course. As soon as she grew comfortable in those steel arms, the boy with the angel's face dropped her, and gently smiled while he did.

Isabella Swan fell through the briar and barbs back down to earth, screaming as she did. It was reminiscent of the story of Icarus, the boy who flew too close to the sun and was burned badly for it.

Most people mourned for Icarus, of course. He had been young and stupid.

But Isabella Swan had been more than that. She'd been stupid enough to think that her first boyfriend was practically her husband, thinking that the angel was her soul mate. She'd been young enough to have that naivety that made her think that she needed to be special, because she wasn't. So as she fell through the briar and barb, and the thorns tore those ridiculous ideas out of her, she cried and screamed, but in the end . . . well, in the end, Isabella Swan smiled.

And then she was gone.

And now there was Bella, Thelta of Quilete wolf pack.

I didn't ever want to be Isabella Swan, young and stupid almost-Icarus ever again. I didn't want to fall into another Adonis's trap, to be swept off my feet and _enjoy_ it. I wanted to run on my own feet, I wanted to run with my _brothers._

There was a part of me that was scared, to imagine how I'd react if I spoke to him. I was scared that I would want him, that Isabella Swan would come back. If she came back, what would happen to the Thelta? The girl who ran with wolves, who barked more than she laughed, who was their little sister? I couldn't stand the _shame_ it would bring me, either . . . The fact that I'd loved him in the first place — if it could even be _called_ love — made me embarrassed already, but if I reverted . . . ?

 _It will never happen,_ I thought firmly to myself, _Your brothers love you too much, and know you too well. They'll stop you._

 _It will still be humiliating._

 _They'll understand. Just try your best, honey._

Huh. That last one almost sounded like Jake. I smirked to myself, thinking that my brothers were in my head even when I wasn't phased. Kinda ridiculous but a little comforting at the same time.

"Bella?"

I looked up; I'd heard her approach, but I'd ignored it.


End file.
